Brazen Girl by Ali Dean Page 0,54
divorce. Give me a call and when you’re back in town, we can get together to catch up.”
He doesn’t sound too beat up about it, but I call him back anyway. With the exception of a couple of quick calls letting him know I’m filming or about to get on a plane, I haven’t really spoken to Dad since the wedding. I’ve had plenty of other excuses not to see him, but the truth is I just don’t know that I want to play this game with him anymore. Because that’s what it feels like we’ve been doing all these years. Playing our parts, not fostering or building a relationship.
“Beck, you back in the States?”
“Yeah, Dad. I got your message. You’re getting a divorce?”
He sighs. “Yes. It was a mutual decision. She wanted kids and I didn’t. There’s a prenup so it won’t be messy.”
“You didn’t talk about kids before you got married?”
“Oh you know, we were so caught up and it all happened so fast. The topic of kids came up, but I think we both thought we’d change the other’s mind once we got married.”
“Wow.” He’s so dismissive, so callous about it. I didn’t know my dad still had the ability to rattle me, though I shouldn’t be surprised he can still disappoint me more than anyone else.
“Yeah, I tried to explain how much it would change her life, but she doesn’t seem to understand. She only thinks of the Instagram side of parenting. She likes the idea of cute baby clothes. But it’s a lot of work. A lot of responsibility. It will change your life forever if you have kids, and not all of those changes are warm and fuzzy ones.”
I stop mid-stride, frozen in shock. Is this man really my father? I knew he was shallow, but the words spewing from his mouth, to his only child no less, are asinine.
“Yeah Dad, raising kids is a lot of responsibility,” I manage to say.
“They’ll change your life, and Skye wants to travel, go out to events, be free and unburdened. Of course we’d have a nanny, but I still don’t think Skye understands that she won’t be able to live the life she wants. Raising children isn’t for everyone, and I’m much too old for it myself.”
It’s true that raising kids isn’t for everyone, that is certainly something I can agree with. The very man talking to me right now is one of those people. So why am I still trying with him? Why did I call him? Why am I listening to this?
When I don’t respond, Dad changes the subject. “Congratulations on winning the competition on the reality television show. I want to hear all about it. When can we meet up for dinner?”
Vaguely, I wonder if this would be a rare opportunity to see him without his latest fling. But then again, he’s probably already zeroed in on his next conquest.
“You know, I’m pretty busy. The last time I saw you I asked you not to post pictures of me or my date. And both your soon-to-be ex-wife and her bridesmaid, who have huge followings, posted pictures of us. I don’t really need any more drama in my life right now.” It’s something I haven’t even bothered to bring up since it happened. For some reason, I need him to know his actions, or inactions, actually affect me. Maybe that’s too much of a burden for him. Maybe it’s not warm and fluffy. But it’s the truth.
I have an entire life with people I care about, and it’s time to admit he isn’t one of them. I’ve given him that chance. Over and over again. And he keeps failing me.
“You don’t want to have dinner with me because you think I’ll post pictures of it on the internet? Skye won’t be there, you know. I just told you we’re getting a divorce.”
“It’s not about that, Dad; I don’t even know why I brought that up. Look, you’re not raising me anymore, your responsibility to me is over. And the truth is, my responsibility to you is over too.”
“Oh, you’re mad I don’t want more kids? Beck, I’m fifty-five, can you blame me? I’m too old for that kind of thing.”
That kind of thing? Is he for real?
“I’m not mad, Dad. I’m just saying, this isn’t worth it to me. I’m done with obligations, and you can be done with them too, all right? I have to go. Griffin is waiting for me.”
I end the