Brazen Girl by Ali Dean Page 0,17
to go to the library?”
“Sure, that was a good idea. I haven’t done much reading since the summer. Not reading for fun anyway.”
“Hopefully they won’t give you a headache,” Mom comments as she turns toward the library.
Right, that. So not only can’t I skateboard, but I can’t watch TV or read either. I’m so accustomed to being in pity party mode I barely realize I’m doing it. But then I think of what Zora would say, something like, “Well at least you can still have sex.” And Lucy adding, “As long as you’re just lying there and aren’t doing too much movement.” I smile to myself, and try to keep it plastered there even as I remember I won’t be having sex with anyone anytime soon.
Chapter Seven
Beck
She calls the third day of filming. Fortunately, I’m already in my room, having just gotten out of the shower.
“I’m sorry, I know you’re at the Shred Live house. Do you want to talk later, or…?”
I love how she just calls, doesn’t bother with texting. And wait, it’s her number calling me, so she could text now if she wanted.
“No, I’m in my room. They can’t film in here unless the door’s open. It’s locked, so we’re good.”
“Why’s it locked?” Before I can open my mouth to answer, she asks, “Are you alone?”
“Yeah, Jordan, I’m alone.” She isn’t really thinking I’ve moved on already, is she? “It’s only locked because I just got out of the shower. I’m not taking chances someone barges in here. There’s definitely some people on the show looking to do whatever they can to get air time.” I keep my voice low, not wanting to be overheard. My roommate, Romeo, went outside to start grilling for dinner as I was coming in to shower. He and I get along fine, but I don’t see us becoming close friends.
“Oh. That sucks, Beck. Moses is there at least, right? Anyone else you like?”
“I’m getting to know a few others who seem all right. But the whole thing’s weird. I feel like I need to keep my guard up.” God, it’s nice talking to her about something real. But then I remember what Griffin told me the day I started filming. My voice softens. “How are you, Jordan? Griff told me you’re not coming back this semester.”
“Yeah, I should have called you myself to tell you.”
“He said it was because of the concussion. The doctor didn’t think you were ready for classes?”
“She’s right. I didn’t even try to argue. I can’t read a chapter of a book without getting a really bad headache. She said it might take three months total before I’m ready and by then the semester will be halfway done.”
“I know everyone’s gonna miss you. But you’ll be back. What have you been up to then?” She can’t read a chapter in a book and can’t skateboard. All I want to do is give her a hug. And then try some other things to help her get her mind off missing out on everything. I barely even realize I’m moving my hand beneath my towel thinking way too hard about pleasuring Jordan.
“Just hanging with my parents. Even doing a little cooking. I’ve been spending time with Phoebe and Wyatt. I’m bored though and want to get a job.”
Feeling a little disgusted with myself for letting my mind and hand wander where they have, I get off the bed to find some boxers. “You need something to look forward to. By the time you’re recovered, I’ll be done filming. Maybe we can go on a trip together.” I don’t let myself think it through. She’s called me, twice now, and I haven’t reached out to her. That’s only because I had no way to contact her, but she knows where I stand. I need to keep making it clear I’m not going anywhere.
There’s a long pause, but I don’t regret putting it out there.
“Yeah, maybe.” She sounds thoughtful, and I hold on to that. “But Beck, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want you out of my life. I really don’t. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be easy with your sisters and Griff and just, everything.” Thank fuck for that. I pull on a pair of shorts and run a towel over my wet head.
“Good, I don’t want you out of my life either. Tried that for like a week after we first met. Didn’t really like it.”
Sometimes I still feel a little uncomfortable remembering how young