to keep taking her, owning her. I love the control. I love that she’s looking at me like I’m her whole world.
I swivel my hips in, going deeper and her lashes flutter against her cheek.
“Z,” she moans, her hands gripping the bedpost.
I lean down and take her mouth and her tongue sucks mine and that’s all it takes. Sweat drips from my face as I roar my release and collapse on top of her then quickly roll away, not wanting to squash her. I reach up and untie her hands, and neither of us speaks, only a quiet hush in the room along with our bellowing breaths. I lean over and look at her outstretched legs, and her skin is tinged red from where my forearms pressed against her. I touch them softly and kiss the lines. I work my eyes over her body, seeing fingerprint marks on her hips and breasts. I lick her nipple.
“Will it bruise?” she asks.
I look up at her. “I don’t know.” I’ve never held a girl down before.
“I’m up for more,” she says, and I huff out a laugh, not knowing how to tell her that doing this with her is the most intimate experience I’ve had with a girl.
I kiss each mark and crawl back to where she’s lying on the pillows. I lie down and she rolls over, easing into my embrace as if she’s done it a hundred times. I rock us, I don’t know why, and I kiss her, exploring the warm recesses of her mouth as if she were a fine piece of china.
Finally it’s her who breaks the silence. “Z…is it…is it always like this with you?”
“Look at me.”
She does.
“Let me set this straight in case there’s any question about how many girls I’ve had or this whole girl-of-the-month thing that keeps popping up. It’s a rumor people like to perpetuate because of who I am. I date girls and we break up and I really don’t think about them much again. This isn’t that. You aren’t them. Never in a million years.”
She kisses me.
And shit, the world is golden.
30
Sugar
“Movie drinking games. Wahoo,” I say as I toss back the sip of tequila Z poured for me earlier. We’re standing in his kitchen, barely keeping our hands off each other as everyone—a few of his friends plus Taylor and Poppy—waits in the den. Tonight we’re mixing our worlds together, and we’re laughing about how interesting it’s going to be.
He grins and leads me back into the den. My eyes run over him, taking in the broad shoulders, long legs, and blond hair. He looks relaxed and I feel a burst of joy.
He turns and takes a sip of his water, watching me too, and I shiver as I think about the things we do to each other.
There’s no denying it—we have this whole when I see you, I want to get naked with you thing going on, and it’s intense and I’m giving in to all of it. I’ve never wanted a man this much. I’ve never given over so much control, and while a small kernel of me is scared, I don’t care. I’ve pushed my reservations aside for now and just…going with it.
Over the past weeks, February arrived and now it’s almost March, and he spends more time at my place than his. During the day we barely see each other because he runs, goes to class, goes to hockey, and then does more training. Toss in three days of therapy and he’s a busy guy. I’m still popping in at Mara’s in the mornings and grabbing an early night shift here and there tending bar.
But the late nights in my bed…
I’m his.
I own his darkness.
Tonight is Sunday, the guys are fresh from a win on the road, and I haven’t seen him since Friday when they left. My body is craving his.
“Get your drinks ready. Who’s ready for movie games?” Z says to the small group of people dotted around the den.
They all clap or shout.
Eric is on the couch with Eleanor, a cute girl with bouncy brown hair and a bright smile. Boone is here too, and he keeps giving Z awestruck looks. A pretty girl sits next to him, another freshman, but Boone’s all about his hero. Poppy is on his other side, and I see the heated side-eye she gives him, but I don’t think he notices. Taylor is sitting on a kitchen chair he pulled from the kitchen. Looking fabulous as