“I’m going to check on the kitchen staff, see if they’re ready for tonight.”
Mara laughs, her gaze following him as he walks out of the room. “He can’t handle it when we talk.”
“Well, you do tend to say just about anything.”
She waves that aside. “No really…tell me.”
“What?”
“Who he is.”
I laugh. “It’s no one.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “One-nighter, huh?”
“No.” I falter. “Well, not exactly.”
Z and I said we were pretend.
But the sex in my closet wasn’t. That was real. That was something.
And those words he said to you—honey chile. I can hear my mama now.
A long exhalation comes from me. But what did Mama ever know about men and relationships?
I rub at my chest just thinking about it. She wasn’t worth anything to my father. She was nothing. What am I to Z? I pull out my phone to see if he’s texted me. He hasn’t.
Mara watches me, her scrutiny not missing a thing. “Everything okay?”
I nod. “Just thinking about Mama.”
She thinks on my response for a moment before settling back in her chair. “Well, maybe it’s a good thing to not forget the past and the bad things she went through. Just don’t let any man get the better of you, especially that Bennett. I never liked him.”
“I know. You’ve told me ten times. I wish you’d told me earlier.” I toy with the straps of my purse, feeling partly annoyed with her—or maybe it’s myself I’m frustrated with. There were times I suspected Bennett wasn’t being honest with me, nights when he came home later than normal from a gig, moments he wouldn’t meet my eyes when I asked about girls who kept coming up and gushing about when was he going to play at the club again. My hands clench. I let him deceive me.
She sucks on her cig. “You say that, but you’re just as stubborn as Lily. She said a hundred times she was done with George, but she always let your daddy right back in the door, even fresh from his wife or drunk from a bar and smelling of cheap perfume.”
“I’m not her.”
It hurts to hear those stories, even though I know they’re true.
“Good.”
I have no illusions about my father. His “legitimate” family was more important, and it was a huge embarrassment to have his mistress and bastard child in the same small town. When I was eight, he gave Mama twenty-five thousand dollars and a new Mustang, told her she had to leave Davenport and move thirty miles away to a new town where his wife didn’t have to worry about running into her at the supermarket or his kids seeing me at school. He promised to come see her, and I guess he did sometimes. It wrecked her to move away, to leave behind the place she grew up. Her parents were buried in Davenport. But, she put on a bright smile and made the best of it, promising me a new start. Those days are blurry to me, a memory that’s out of focus. I knew how fathers were supposed to be with their kids, letting them sit on their laps and ruffling their hair, but he never did those things.
Mara’s gaze is soft. “Sug, you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just been a weird month.”
“Ah, honey.” She pats my hand. “You’re going off to law school soon. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don’t be down.”
I stare down at the cup of tea she set down in front of me.
“Plus, we should take a vacation this summer. Maybe Belize. Belize has monkeys. You love monkeys.” She smiles up at Clint on the wall. “I bet Clint loves monkeys. Remember that movie Any Which Way But Loose? Damn, that was funny.”
I agree. She’s made me watch them all.
Sweet Mara. She did her best with me, and she’s always talking about vacations, but money is tight, and I wonder if it’s even feasible.
I stir the tea, trying to change the subject. “The new girl out there, Julia—how long has she been here?”
“Came in a few days ago and Candi was a no-show, so I hired her on the spot. Kinda young looking, but the suits like her.”
How have I missed her? I guess she’s here late when I’m not. “She’s my roommate and she’s practically a baby. You should let her go, Mara.”
She thinks on it. “Nah, she’s doing good. Ain’t nobody gonna lay a hand on her in this place. We run a tight ship. Plus, her drug test was spotless. Slim