hangs her head. “I’m not the one to save you, even though I want to. God, I fucking want to.”
I grab her waist, pulling her closer. She looks up, startled, but she doesn’t try to get away. And I mean every fucking word when I tell her, “You can. You have. You do. Without you, Sid, I wouldn’t still be here. And we can be like that.”
Her silver eyes search mine, and I wonder what she sees when she looks at me. With her hand still flat against my heart, mine around her waist, I wonder if she sees how much I love her.
As much as I can love anyone, anyway.
I wonder if she knows I’ve always tried to save her. From Lucifer, from the Unsaints, from every bad thing in the world. I’ve killed for her. If I thought she’d be safer, I’d die for her. The things I’ve gone through? If they had happened to her…
She’s already been through too much.
“Let go of me.”
Her words make my blood run cold. My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. She drops her hand, tries to step away from me.
I don’t let go.
“Jeremiah, let go of me.”
I don’t.
Even when she lifts her hand and slaps me across the fucking face again, I don’t let go of her. I turn my head back to face her, fingers digging into her waist as I pull her closer still.
Her jaw clenches, her hand still raised like she might hit me again.
“Do it,” I tell her. “If it makes you feel better, do it again. I want you to fight me. It’s why I’ve tried to teach you.”
Just as she goes to do just that, to show off what she’s learned, I catch her hand, spin her around so her back is to my chest, both of her wrists gripped in one of my hands, the other over her mouth.
She stills in my arms.
“If you were another girl, Sid Rain, I’d have already fucking killed you,” I tell her, my mouth against her ear. “Be careful what you do to me.” I kiss her neck, feel her shiver in my arms. “Be careful what you say to me.” I kiss her again and she relaxes into my touch because I know Sid Rain, and I know she’s a sick fuck, just like me. “Be careful how you treat me, baby, because I don’t play games. I’m not him.” My hand over her mouth slides down her throat, over her chest, to her stomach. She tenses beneath my touch. “I’d never want to hurt you, you know that, Sid?” My fingers slide under her tank top, hot against her smooth skin. “But if you keep fucking playing with me, I’ll have to show you all the things I don’t want to do.”
“You don’t want the baby.” I don’t phrase it as a question because I already know the goddamn answer.
She looks down at her bare feet, and I see her swallow. “I don’t think now is—”
I brush a lock of hair behind her ear as she lifts her chin, her eyes silver slits as she looks up at me, gaze wary. “Now is the perfect time.” I drop my hand, gesture around the living room. This fucking stone mansion that’s hers now, just as much as it’s mine. This entire street is ours. The fucking world is ours. But that doesn’t seem like enough for Sid Malikov. “I’ll take care of you, like I’ve always done. Of our baby.” I glance at her belly, definitely not showing yet but still. There’s a baby in there. “Why isn’t now the right time, Lilith?” I try to keep my tone soft, but I’m feeling edgy, my fingers twitchy.
Her hands are balled into fists at her side as her gaze hardens. “Because you do fuck all but get high and lose your fucking mind whenever I try to open up to—”
I slam my fists on the wall beside her head, caging her in and making her flinch. I hate that, but I can’t…stop. Nothing I do is enough for her. It’s just never fucking good enough. “You mean when you try to tell me how much you miss the man that fucking raped you?”
“He didn’t—”
“Yeah, because he realized you were his fucking sister. Are you stupid, Sid? I always thought you were the smartest person I ever knew, but lately I’ve been wondering if—”
She slaps me. I should see it coming. It’s her thing. She does that. Especially with