“This isn’t fucking about him. It’s about you, and your family, and what they did to me. What they fucking did to me.” She’s breaking apart in my arms, for the first time. I’ve never seen her like this.
Never seen her cry, not like this. Even at Maverick’s, it wasn’t like this.
It’s a full body sob that rips through her, her shoulders shaking as she beats her head against my chest, over and over, hurting me. Her.
“They fucking ruined me, Lucifer, they fucking ruined me!” Her nails dig into my skin and she buries her face in my chest, her hot tears trailing down my chest. “They fucking ruined me. My body,” she convulses against me, a scream tearing through her throat. “My fucking mind. They ruined me for you. For anyone.”
I still can’t breathe. I can’t speak.
I wrap my arms around her back as she falls apart.
“They took everything from me. They took it all.” Her nails are digging deeper into my skin, those tears flowing freer. “They took it from him too,” she whimpers. Then she picks her head up, looking at me with watery and red eyes. “You did too,” she chokes out even as I hold her closer, our bodies flush together. “You let him rot there. How could you do that to him? How could you…” She closes her eyes tight, her lips pressed together as she tries to breathe.
I don’t know what to do.
How to feel.
What to say.
I imagine him in that cage.
She opens her eyes. “How could you let that happen? I thought you were…I thought you were my fucking devil, come to light the way to hell. I thought it was…us. Against the fucking world. But you don’t play fair with me. You’re not beside me. Is it because I’m…broken? Is it because you hate me? Is it because you think I’m disgusting and—”
I grip her chin in my hand, jerk her head up as I bow my head over her, our lips brushing. “I don’t think that. I’ve never fucking thought that.”
“How could you let those things happen to him? When all that shit was happening to me, you were letting it happen to him!” She slaps her hand against my chest, crying all over again.
But I think about it. About Pammie. About her touching me. Grinding against me. Her mouth on me, her words.
I think about how she went through that. Lilith. When she was far younger than I was, and for years afterward. Different men, different families. Different people that were supposed to care for her and love her and protect her and all they did was break her. Hurt her. Abuse her.
How many times did she want to die?
How many times did she hate herself?
How deep did that self-loathing go, infecting her veins? Poisoning her mind? Her fucking soul?
And him…
I want to hate her for loving him. For bringing him up.
My half-brother.
I want to hate her so much.
“Tell me why you did it. Why you left him there. How could you fucking do that to him?”
“Sit down.”
My father’s cold words send a chill down my spine, but I haven’t done anything wrong in a long, long time—I can still feel his fist against my face from the last time I did—so I sit down with ease, running my palms over my sweats.
His blue eyes lock on mine as he twists the 6 ring around his finger. “Ophelia’s father had some interesting things to ask me about this afternoon.”
I tense, shifting in my seat, trying not to squirm too much under his gaze. “I haven’t seen O all day,” I tell him truthfully. “And Cain wants us all to meet him at the strip, so—”
“Don’t interrupt me.”
I close my mouth, clench my jaw, but I try not to show any outward sign of anger.
My father sighs, leaning back in the leather chair behind his desk. It’s dark at Sanctum, as it always is, smelling like the incense that Pammie loves so much, and my stomach churns thinking about it.
“Her father wanted to know why we didn’t open up this facility”—he snarls that word—“for the community.” Another snarl.
My throat feels tight, but I keep staring at him, waiting for my chance to speak. Fucking Ophelia. I told her about Sanctum when she kept bugging me about where the fuck I go on Sundays. I fucked her right after that, and I thought it would make her forget. Apparently not.
“Her father shouldn’t even know about this place, Lucifer. Do you understand