I force out a breath. “I don’t know, at the moment, it feels pretty damn bad.”
“You know what I’ve always found to be true?” She doesn’t wait for a response. “That when you keep everything bottled up inside, it makes whatever problem you’re attempting to tackle feel that much worse.” She squeezes my hand. “Share it with me. Let’s talk this out. I promise it won’t seem quite so dire.”
Unable to hold her gaze, mine drops to the white marble countertop before I blurt, “I looked Candace up online.” I give Jenna a bit of side-eye to gauge her reaction, but her face remains impassive. As if I haven’t dropped a major bomb. When she simply nods, I continue. “She’s married with two kids. A boy and a girl.”
“I’m aware,” she admits quietly. “Your father has kept tabs on her over the years.”
That information probably shouldn’t take me by surprise. I guess everyone knew about it but me. “Why didn’t you guys say something?”
“What would be the point?” Her face scrunches as she tilts her head. “To inflict more pain?”
My shoulders collapse at her astute assessment of the situation.
When I remain silent, lost in my thoughts, she asks, “Are you all right?”
I shrug, wishing that were the worst part of it. “I reached out, and she emailed back, wanting to know if I would be interested in meeting.”
Even though Jenna’s expression never falters, her hand stills over mine. “And did you?”
“Yeah. We met at a coffee shop.”
It’s cautiously that she asks, “And how did that go?”
“It was definitely awkward at first, but then we started talking, getting to know one another again, and it was kind of nice.”
“I’m glad for you. I think it’s important that you spoke with her.”
It makes perfect sense that Jenna would feel that way. She’s totally selfless. If having a relationship with Candace was something that I wanted or needed in my life, then she would support me.
“We spent about two hours getting reacquainted, and for most of the visit, it felt like reaching out had been a good idea. Like maybe she regretted walking away and wanted to be part of my life.” When my voice turns bitter, Jenna’s fingers tighten around mine. “Turns out that’s not the case.”
“Okay.” The muscles in her face tense before she encourages, “Tell me what happened.”
“I asked when I could meet her family.” I jerk my shoulders and shake my head. “Maybe it’s stupid, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I had halfsiblings out there. Ones I’d never even met.”
She lifts her hand to stroke my cheek. “I’m sure you liked that idea.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t really matter if I did or not.” A fresh wave of grief crashes over me. “Candace never bothered to tell her husband that she was married or had another child. Since it would be difficult to explain the situation after all these years, she has no intention of telling them or making me part of her life.”
“Oh, Colton.” With the side of my face cupped in her palm, she closes the distance between us before feathering her lips across my forehead.
“Candace hasn’t been a part of my life for a long time,” I whisper. “I don’t understand why this hurts so much.”
“She’s your mother, and you still love her. That just doesn’t go away. I’m so sorry she did this to you.” I don’t have to catch a glimpse of her face to know that there are tears shining in her eyes. I hear the thick emotion clogging her voice.
Jenna wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight. It’s as if she’s trying to extract all of the pain vibrating in my body and take it into her own.
“We won’t be seeing each other again,” I tell her.
She pulls away enough to search my eyes. “You realize this has nothing to do with you, right?”
I shrug.
How could it not have everything to do with me?
This is twice now that I’ve been rejected by Candace.
Unwilling to have Jenna bear witness to the emotion crashing around inside me, I turn my head, only wanting to lick my wounds in private. Except my stepmother is having none of it. Her fingers settle under my chin before turning my face until I have no other choice but to meet her gaze.
“Don’t you dare hide from me. I’ve been in your life since you were six years old. Bandaging scraped knees, telling you