knelt to free Antonio, he added, "I don't need him anymore. I have you."
This is how it happened." Chrissie was standing in the kitchen, facing the window over the sink. There was nothing to see, except the grayness of dawn creeping through the treetops like gauze. She had said nothing when Bourne walked into the room, but she started when she felt him beside her.
"How what happened?" Bourne said into the silence.
"How I came to lie to you." Chrissie turned on the hot water and, placing her hands in the stream, began to wash them as if she were Lady Macbeth. "One day," she said, "a year or so after Scarlett was born, I looked in the mirror and said to myself, You have a body that's been abandoned. Perhaps a man can't understand. I had abandoned my body to motherhood, which means I had abandoned myself."
Her hands moved in the water, washing, washing. "From that moment, I began to hate myself, and then, by extension, my life, which included Scarlett. Of course, that was something I couldn't tolerate. I fought against it and immediately fell into a dreadful depression. My work began to suffer, so obviously that the department chair suggested and then gently but firmly insisted I take a sabbatical. Finally, I agreed, I mean I hadn't a choice, had I? But when I locked my office door behind me, when I drove out of Oxford, drowsing like Avalon in the mist, I knew something drastic had to be done. I knew it was no coincidence that I had locked myself away in a place that never changed. Like my father, I was safe in Oxford, where everything is pre-planned, pre-ordained, even; where there's no possibility of even the slightest deviation. That's why he reacted to Trace's life choices the way he did. They terrified him, so he lashed out at her. It wasn't until that day, leaving Oxford behind, that I understood that family dynamic and how it had affected me. It occurred to me that I might have chosen my safe life for him, not for myself."
She turned off the water and dried her hands on a dish towel. The backs were red and raw looking. "I need to get my family out of here."
"As soon as a friend shows up we'll leave," Bourne said.
"Scarlett."
"She's with your father."
She looked back, almost wistfully, through the doorway into the living room. "Scarlett, at least, loves my parents." She sighed. "Let's go outside. I'm finding it difficult to breathe in here."
Through the kitchen door they emerged into the dewy morning. The air was chill, and when they spoke little puffs of steam emerged from their mouths. The bases of the trees were still black, as if the roots were holding on to the dead of night. Chrissie shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.
"What happened?" Bourne said.
"Nothing that made sense, it was simply blind luck that I met Holly."
Bourne was startled. "Holly Marie Moreau?"
She nodded. "She was looking for Trace and found me instead."
Everything in this puzzle seems to return to Holly, he thought. "And you became friends?"
"More than friends, and less," she said. "I know that doesn't make much sense." She shrugged. "I went to work for her."
Bourne frowned. He felt like a miner inching along a tunnel without lights, but nevertheless knowing by instinct which way to turn. "What was she doing?"
Chrissie gave a little embarrassed laugh. "She was what she euphemistically called a stocker. Now and again she traveled to Mexico for two or three weeks at a time. At a client's request, she'd stock a narcorrancho. Narcorranchos are shell estates owned by the Mexican drug lords out in the desert somewhere, usually in the north, in Sonora, but sometimes in a more southerly state like Sinaloa. Apart from a caretaker and maybe a guard or two, no one lives in them full-time.
"Anyway, she took me to Mexico City, to the after-hours clubs, the brothels, where she chose from a list she kept updated weekly, like a calendar or a day planner. We took the girls to whichever narcorrancho was owned by the current client. There were only a handful of Mexicans there when we arrived, some peons, and heavily armed soldiers who sneered at us even while they drooled over the girls. My job was to spruce up the interior and settle the girls in their various bedrooms. The peons did the heavy lifting.
"Gradually, the cars would come - Lincoln Town Cars, Chevy Suburbans, Mercedeses,