Bourbon Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,68

you learn how to smile on your own again.” I comb my fingers through her hair, running my knuckles down the side of her warm cheek.

She presses her teeth into her bottom lip as if trying to hide the smile I have waited so long to see. “I might be okay with this,” she says.

With all of the difficulties both of us have endured, it’s amazing, because for the first time in a very long time things feel better than they ever have. I don’t know where we go from here, but I hope she wants to go there with me. I would do just about anything for her to take the next step and move forward in a new direction, one where we are together and can allow our wounds to heal.

“I don’t know if the timing is still as bad as it was weeks ago, or even years ago, for that matter, but when and if you are ready, I would like to spend more time with you. I want you to catch me up on everything I’ve missed, every part of who you are now, what has changed, what hasn’t. I want to know if you still giggle when you’re embarrassed, and if you can still make up elaborate, fictional stories like the ones you used to entertain me with. I remember the words would spill from your mouth as if you were reading them out of a book, but it was your mind—always filled with beautiful thoughts. It was like you were daydreaming out loud, allowing me to be a part of those moments. Do you still like to write? Do you still like to read? What about Pop Rocks, are they still your favorite candy? I want to know, Mel. I want to know everything”

Melody presses her lips together as they quiver while still holding onto a smile, but her eyes fill with tears of joy and wonder. “Brett, you remember all of that?”

“I remember all of the different parts that make you, you. I wanted to be like you, be around you, just so I could be unconditionally happy and able to laugh at my own jokes. You’re one of a kind. It’s what makes you special. It’s what makes you the person I want to spend all my time with.”

“It’s all I wanted then, and it’s all I want now. I would have asked for more back then if you could have given it, but I knew our paths were destined to go in different directions and I didn’t want to stand in your way,” she says.

“I felt the same. That’s why I wrote those letters. I knew they were a long-shot, but I felt like it was the only way to keep our connection alive.” I know she never responded to my letters and over the years, I thought of every possible reason why she didn’t, but it doesn’t matter any more.

Melody shakes her head with a look of confusion.“Wait, Brett. Stop. What letters are you talking about? I never got a letter from you.”

21

Nine-Ten Years Ago

I wonder how many people regret enlisting in the military on the first day of bootcamp? Not that I didn’t do my research ahead of time, but these first couple of weeks are a far cry from what I was expecting. I train, run more miles than I can count, do everything I can to get into shape and I still feel like the scrawniest son of a bitch here. The first thing to go was my hair—my secret pride and joy. Now, I look like everyone else, except for the scrawny part. There isn’t a minute during the day when we aren’t in a routine, pushing ourselves to unthinkable limits. My mind has given up a million times, but for some reason my body is still going. It’s been six weeks, and we’re allowed some free time to write home today. I’m writing two letters, one to Mom and Pops, and the other to Melody. The one to my parents is simple; I’m healthy, fine, and will survive the next seven weeks. Can’t wait to see you.

For Melody, it’s different because it’s not the first letter I’ve written to her, but it will be the first one I send. I’ve composed five total, but the other four are under my mattress because the time between when I kissed her, and now, has been too long. It has been three months to be exact. She probably