Bourbon Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,20
tell me she’s hungry by the sound of the scream wailing from her lungs. How can something so small make so much noise?
A nurse comes jogging into the room with a smile. “Well, at least Mom got a couple hours of sleep,” she says.
Abby is still waking up; a look of question runs through her eyes when she hears Parker crying. “How long was I asleep?”
“Just a bit,” I say.
“She might be hungry,” the nurse says.
I stand up with Parker and rock her in a soothing motion from side to side as I hand her back to Abby. “I’m going to give you some privacy and get something to drink down the hall. Are you all right?” I ask her.
Abby smiles, but with an unsure look. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll stay here with her to help with the feeding,” the nurse tells me. “Go ahead.”
My arms feel empty after placing Parker back into Abby’s hold. My life seems different, but it isn’t my life to consider. I don’t know where my place is in Abby’s future. We’re friends. That’s all we’ll ever be and I’m not sure that’s enough of what she needs right now. I’ve explored my feelings for Abby, wondering why I didn’t feel a spark or romantic connection, but my feelings for her are plutonic, a best friend, or a sibling maybe. She doesn’t look at me like I’m the man of her dreams either, so if she feels anything different than what she has shown me, it would be a surprise. Although, I’m sure relationships and men will be the last thing on her mind for a long while with her hands full.
I find the waiting area and take a seat in the corner to call home. Mom and Pops don’t know Abby, but I’ve told them about her and what’s been going on. As usual, mom tries her best to pick up on the first ring when she sees my number. “Brett, are you okay, sweetie?”
She always asks me if I’m okay before saying hello. The deployments have done a number on her, but I can’t imagine being home, waiting for check-ins either. “Yes, Mom, I’m fine,” I chuckle.
“It’s the middle of the day. Shouldn’t you be working?” I didn’t think about the time. We’ve been here for almost twenty hours at this point.
“Oh, yeah, Abby had the baby a couple hours ago.”
A heavy sigh releases from Mom’s mouth. “Are they both okay, healthy?” she asks.
“They are. Parker. She named her Parker.”
“That’s beautiful,” Mom says, her statement sounds more like a question than a statement. “Are you okay, sweetie?”
“Yeah, I’m great,” I respond. “Why?”
“Oh, I’m just checking. You’re in an unusual situation and I can’t imagine what might be going through your head. I know you and Abby are close, but you’ve never mentioned her as anything more than a friend.”
“We’re friends,” I clarify. “It’s all we’ll ever be.” Mom might wonder if there’s any chance of Parker being a part of her life too. She’d never come out and ask me much more than what she has, but I can imagine the speculation; whether I’m keeping something from her. “Abby needs a friend right now and I’m happy to be that person in her life.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Brett.”
“How could I get hurt?” I find my voice becoming softer the longer our conversation continues. I’m not sure I understand where Mom is going with this.
“If you end up loving the baby, and Abby meets someone else, it will be painful for you to move on. If there is something more between the two of you, I can understand, but if not, I just want to tell you how easily children become a part of your life, regardless of whether they are your own.”
“I know,” I tell her. “I can’t walk away from her, so if it’s a pain I have to endure someday, I’ll deal with it then. It’s better than Abby bearing a sense of neglect or loneliness at a time like this.”
“I think I raised you a little too well, Brett. Just be careful with your feelings, okay?”
“I will,” I tell her.
“Email me photos when you can. Tell Abby I said congratulations.”
“Thanks, Mom. I will. Love you. Talk soon.”
Mom’s words burn a hole into my mind now that it’s out in the open, but what choices do I have? I can stay and be the friend I promised to be, or I can walk away to protect my heart