Bourbon Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,17
does what she can to avoid answering. “You’re not my biological dad,” she says. “I don’t know who he is, but my teacher instructed us to write the name down. I left the line blank, making it look like I only have a mom, but I don’t have her either. I was the only one in class who didn’t have either of my biological parents.”
Her words hit me in my gut. Every time she questions this topic, we have to speak about it, but it’s a fresh wound being sliced down the core of my chest each time. “I’m not your biological dad, and we don’t have the same kind of blood, but Parker, I was there the day you were born, and I haven’t left your side since.”
“Why?” she asks, gazing up at me with her big blue eyes.
“Why? Because your mom was my very best friend, and I was just as excited as she was the day you were born. I knew I wasn’t your biological dad then, but it didn’t matter to me. I loved you then and I’ll love you forever. To me, that’s more important than anything to do with biology.”
I’m not sure she understands what I’m trying to tell her. The look on her face has changed very little, but she’s still looking into my eyes with curiosity. “How come I’m not normal?”
“Because, you’re unique and special, one-of-a-kind, and you were placed on this earth to be my daughter.”
Parker folds her hands over her book and swallows a lump in her throat. “If Mom didn’t go away forever, would you still be my dad now?” It’s a question that I often wonder about. I couldn’t answer this then and I can’t answer it now because I don’t know what the future might have held. I lived with Abby because she was my family, being so far away from home. Parker became an instant part of my life and there was nothing normal about our living situation because there was no romance between Abby and me, but we loved each other and we both loved Parker. Some situations don’t come with expectations or explanations, I guess.
“Yes, I’d still be your dad. Nothing could make me walk away from you, even if Mom was still here.” Whether life took us in a different direction or not, Parker needs to know I am where I’m meant to be.
“Aren’t people supposed to get married though?” she asks. God, I wish the teacher warned the parents about this family tree lesson. There are many different types of families that don’t fit into a stereotypical box.
“Some people get married and others don’t. Some people have children together, and some never have children. And then there are people who adopt, and win the kid lottery. A lot of people go their entire life wishing they could have everything someone else either wanted or didn’t want. But you know what? It doesn’t matter because you’re stuck with me forever, like it or not.”
Parker’s lips hint at a slight smile as she nods her head with understanding. “Sorry if I made you sad. It’s just confusing sometimes, and it embarrassed me today.”
I switch seats, moving next to her on the couch and wrap my arm around her shoulders. “You have nothing to be sorry about. We’re in this together, and just because we aren't a typical family, doesn’t mean we aren’t the luckiest.”
Parker rests her head against my chest and sighs with a sound of relief. “You’re right,” she says. “I’m glad you’re my dad.”
“I can’t imagine my life without you, sweetheart. You never need to question the realness between us, okay?”
A pigtail flops against my nose as she nods again. “Okay.”
“Go wash up and I’ll make you a snack.” I kiss the side of her head and she hops up from the couch with a little more enthusiasm than when she first sat down. I never know if my talks will help her, but I hope more than anything I’m doing something right. I’m slightly blind, navigating down this rocky road.
I rest my head back for the minute she’s upstairs, feeling my phone vibrate in my coat pocket. I pull it out and check the display, finding a friend request from the one and only Melody Quinn I know. I wonder if she received some random alert that I was looking her up on this thing. That’s weird. Maybe it’s a coincidence. I hope it is.
I don’t want her to think I’m