the cover, and carried it back to my table to pretend to read.
“Here you go,” Holly said a few minutes later, setting the coffee at my elbow. She lowered her voice. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
“Uh, no.”
“Were you in the military?”
I flushed. This was supposed to be an undercover mission and I’d already managed to blow it. “What gave me away?”
Holly’s face lit up. “I knew it. Can I . . .” She gestured toward the chair opposite me, and I nodded. Dropping into the seat, she went on, “You look a couple of years older than most of our students, but more than anything it’s your posture. My mom says you can spot a soldier because they always fall into parade rest.” She smiled, her eyes sparkling at me. Quinn’s eyes. It was unnerving.
I picked up the coffee and took a sip. “Was your mom a soldier?”
“No, but my dad was. He died when I was little.”
This was so weird. I tried to think of a normal response to that. “I’m sorry to hear that. Um, did he die in combat?”
Holly traced a couple of deep gouges on the Formica table with one finger. “No, he was a police officer after the army. He was ambushed on a case.”
“Oh.”
I had no idea what to say next. It was hard to pretend to know nothing about the man I’d been with for the last three years.
“Anyway, my senior capstone project involves veterans who go from the military straight to the police,” Holly went on, and gave a self-deprecating nose wrinkle. “I know—I’m basically announcing that I have daddy issues, but it makes me feel closer to him. And I saw you come in, and figured I might as well ask if you were in the Criminal Justice program too. Nothing ventured, et cetera.” She smiled, looking at me expectantly.
I almost laughed. Holly looked like Quinn, but she hadn’t inherited his reticence. “No, I’m sorry, I’m an English major,” I said, figuring I could at least fake that much. “But it sounds like a cool project.”
“Thanks. And you know, damn. It would have been cool to have a female subject.”
She started to stand up, and I tried to think of something that would prolong the conversation, help me know more about her. “Do you mind if I ask, do you remember him?”
She paused, then sat back down again. “I do,” she said thoughtfully. “Not a lot, and of course it’s all filtered through the brain of a four-year-old. But I have these impressions that he was kind, and quiet. And distracted. And intense.” She shrugged, looking embarrassed, like she may have offended me. “I don’t mean this as a criticism, but I’ve been volunteering with veterans since I was fifteen, and along with the posture, that’s the common denominator. You all have this . . . intensity.” She gave me a sheepish look. “You’ve probably heard that before.”
“I have. But it’s not an unfair assessment.” I took another sip of my coffee. “You said you’re a senior. What are you going to do after graduation?”
“Join the circus,” she said, completely straight-faced. “I’m thinking lion tamer, but I’ve always wanted to ride the elephants, so we’ll see.”
I laughed, and she grinned, pleased that she’d gotten me to laugh, and for just an instant I could see a universe in which Quinn had stayed human and been this girl’s father. He’d sit here just like I was, and she’d try to make him laugh. The thought stung.
“No, I’m going to the police academy,” Holly went on. “I just haven’t decided where yet. I grew up in Chicago, but Mom’s family is in Macon, so I’d kind of like to stay close.”
The little bell rang over the door, and we both looked up to see a woman limping in, leaning on a cane. She was in her fifties, with dark hair and gorgeous high cheekbones. Despite the warmth of the day, she wore a long-sleeved blouse with a high neck, and slacks. She smiled as her eyes found Holly. “Well, speak of the devil,” Holly said happily, raising her voice. A couple of students at the tables along the wall shot her annoyed looks, but Holly paid them no attention. She stood up and started toward the woman, stepping forward for a hug. “Hey, Mom.”
I tried to keep the surprise off my face. This was Quinn’s ex-wife? Wait, that wasn’t right. They’d still been married when he was turned.