Bound by Danger (The Alliance #6) - Brenda K. Davies Page 0,69
for so long, it was still an excessive amount of blood.
But now, her words caused the demon within him to stir, and like a dragon roused from a deep slumber, it sought to destroy.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“And what more do you want, Callie?”
Callie sensed the change in him as his face took on a harshness she hadn’t seen since their flight from the Savages. She’d never felt unsafe around him, but she suddenly felt like she was walking on eggshells and had no idea how to proceed.
In the end, she opted for the truth.
“I want my life back. I know I can never have it, but I can have some of my things. I want to know what is going to become of me. Am I supposed to spend the rest of my days going from yoga, to lunch, to afternoon training class, to dinner, to bed with you?”
Instead of answering, he simply stared at her, which made this more frustrating.
“I miss being with animals and feeling like I’m doing something good,” she continued in a rush. If he wasn’t going to respond, then she would at least make him see. “I miss my friends and concerts. I understand I can’t have those things anymore, but I still miss and grieve them. I’m grateful to you for protecting me, but… but… this is difficult for me. And the worst is the uncertainty.”
“Uncertainty about what?”
“My future. I had it planned out for so long, and now it’s all gone. I was going to buy a farm, raise chickens, have horses, rehabilitate wild animals, and foster adoption animals. I was going to have a garden and learn how to can fruit and make spaghetti sauce. I was going to have family and children and now… now….”
“Now what?” Lucien growled as her words continued to poke the barely leashed demon.
Callie threw her hands up in exasperation. “Now, I don’t know anything! I don’t know how long I’ll be welcome here, or when you’ll grow tired of me and move on to someone else, or what will happen as I grow older. I’ve lost everything, and I know absolutely nothing about what is to become of me!”
The rush of those words was like a bucket of ice water dumped over his head as he caged the demon within him. He’d made a mistake by not making his intentions with her clear. He’d been trying to protect her and give her space to adjust to her new life, but he’d only succeeded in giving her nothing but uncertainty. She deserved better than that.
Lucien rose from the bed and walked toward her. As he approached, her shoulders went back and her chin lifted. Her posture was defiant, but the unhappiness in her eyes made him kick himself in the ass. He stopped before her and lifted a strand of her hair to run it through his fingers.
“I will never grow tired of you, Callie,” he said. “I will never throw you aside for someone else. You’re it for me.”
Uncertainty glimmered in her eyes, but her posture softened. Lucien didn’t know how to proceed; he’d never done anything like this before. He didn’t talk about feelings or things he wanted, but if he was going to ease her distress, then he had to tell her what he hoped for from her.
He’d never wanted something as badly as he did Callie to accept him and agree to stay with him. He was scared he would somehow blow this. In the end, he decided to go with the simple truth.
“I want you to stay with me forever.”
He lifted his gaze from the black hair in his hands to her face as he tried to gauge her reaction.
“You want me to stay here… forever?” The last word came out as a squeak.
He braced himself for her rejection of everything he was offering her. Because, he realized, he couldn’t offer her much.
Before the Savages, she had dreams, friends, and a life of freedom she cherished. Instead of freedom and goals, he was offering her a life of walls, uncertainty, and death. Because no matter what, his life would always revolve around death.
Because of her presence here and the blood he’d stuffed himself on to keep from taking hers, he had kept his need to kill suppressed. But he was aware of it constantly churning beneath his surface, waiting to break free, just as it had been there since the day he reached maturity at twenty-five.