Bouncer by Kim Jones Page 0,20
a strangled sob. “You just want a reason to hit me!” I cry, hoping to convince him that’s where the problem lies.
His eyes swim with concern. “You know I’d never hit you. Spank you? Yes. But I’d never cause you harm. But this isn’t about a spanking. It’s more than that, baby. Tell me.”
I bury my face again. I’m sure he’s not going to let it go. But surprisingly, he says nothing. Just kisses my head and rubs his hand softly through my hair. The show of tenderness just makes me cry harder. Until my sobs are guttural and I can’t catch my breath.
“Shh, calm down.”
A series of raspy coughs followed by heavy wheezing has him sitting us both up in bed. He lifts me onto his lap and pulls the covers around me. I lean into the heat of his chest as he rubs the back of my neck with strong fingers. “Hush now,” he tells me, his tone firm but not harsh.
I nod, feeling the need to assure him I’m trying. I swipe at my eyes with the back of my hands and breathe in short, fast breaths to keep my lungs from expanding to the point of pain. It works. My breathing evens out and my tears lessen. The sobs die and the wheezing fades.
“Good girl.” He kisses my temple before he leans over to grab something off the bedside table. He straightens us both, nudging me with his shoulder until I lift my head from his chest, then presses a tissue to my nose. “Blow.”
I do without hesitation, the feeling of humiliation coming seconds after he’s tossed it on the floor beside the bed.
“I can’t believe I just did that,” I whisper in horror, my eyes blurring again.
He shrugs. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I like taking care of you.”
I look down and twist my fingers beneath the blanket. “I’m not so sure I like it.”
He cups my jaw and tucks my head under his chin. “Tell me why.”
If I tell him the truth, he might leave me alone. Is that what I want? Right now, no. In the end, absolutely. But I need to say it. Even if it’s just the short version, he needs to know. And it’s not like I have anything to lose. Besides, it’s so much easier to talk to him when I don’t have to look at him. “I don’t want to be completely dependent on you. Or anyone. It…scares me.”
“I understand. More than you know. How about this. While we’re behind the door of this room, you let me take care of you. I’m in control. But only here. Outside of this room, you’re Apple. I’m Bouncer. Things get to be too much in here, your independence is just a few feet away.”
His offer sounds pretty good to me. So good, I find myself nodding in agreement, even though I have questions. “Only in here?”
“Only in here.”
“Outside of this room, you’ll leave me alone?”
“I’ll leave you alone.”
“So…when we’re in this room, I’m like your…submissive?”
“We can talk about the details later.” He shifts me until I’m lying beside him again.
“Why not now?” I ask, my tone raspy and my eyes heavy.
“Because there are more important things to discuss. Like have you been to the doctor?”
My eyes drift closed, and I swallow, forcing my voice. “Yes. Upper respiratory. Pneumonia. It hurts.”
“I know, baby. Did you fill your prescriptions?”
“Backpack,” I manage, though I’m not sure he heard it.
I feel his thumb on my cheek before he eases out of bed and tucks the covers around me. “I’ll be back soon.”
With the hope that he will be back, I find sleep. But it’s plagued by the terrifying fear that he won’t.
Twelve
BOUNCER
I fucking hate public places.
And people.
And traffic jams.
And road construction.
I’m vibrating with anger and anxiety by the time I pull back up to the clubhouse. I have no clue how I managed to make it back without killing someone or catching a charge for disorderly conduct.
Ten fucking minutes means ten fucking minutes. Not forty-five fucking minutes which is how long I had to wait because the lazy ass pharmacist was too busy scratching his dick to fill my order. Then, because I took Jinx’s truck and not my bike, I couldn’t weave in and out of the traffic that was backed up due to construction. So I was forced to sit and wait and think about how I was blocked in on all sides with no clear exit in case some shit