without a peep from him brings me closer to rage. I find it extremely insensitive on his part to not send another note of apology. I’m not expecting flowers or anything, just a hello and possibly another sorry.
Sunday night rolls around, and still not a single peep. I lay in bed wondering what kind of messed up relationship I’ve gotten myself into. Does he even care about me? Or am I really just his plaything? I fall into sobs for the first time in a long time. Following what seems like endless hours, I finally drift into slumber, my pillowcase wet from my tears.
I’m exhausted and very cranky as I get Ethan ready for daycare. I’ve not bothered much with my hair or outfit today. I just don’t care anymore. I’m planning to give my two weeks notice now. This ends now. I will not be treated like this. I deserve better.
As soon as I settle into my desk chair, I fire up my laptop and get to work on my letter of resignation. I’m sure they can easily find a replacement to take over what I’ve already begun. I will try to leave as soon as I can, but I’m willing to stay up to two more weeks since that’s the professional thing to do.
Every word I type cuts me to the core. I was so excited about this opportunity. I still remember my first day like it was just yesterday. I was so eager. I glance over at Rosetta who is laughing at what I imagine is a youTube video featuring a cat, a puppy or a piglet. She watches those a lot, and it’s really none of my business. I’m not the one who pays her.
I’ll miss her and her silly humor. I’ll miss the atmosphere of this place and my comfy chair. I’ll miss wearing my cute outfits. And I hate to admit, but I’ll miss Weston the most. And I will miss my spankings too. He’s awakened a kinky side of me I didn’t even realize I had. Perhaps I’m not all vanilla after all. I’ll probably be begging the next man in my life for a little slap. He’s ruined me forever.
I hate that he’s done this to me. He’s shown me the goods, an exciting fun life. He’s shown me affection and what I thought was love. And then he’s wrecked me to pieces. I know I might be overreacting, but I can’t help it. If only he had contacted me again after the initial message, this might have all been water under the bridge.
But he didn’t. He let me stew for two whole days while he busied himself doing who knows what.
Finally, my letter is completed, and I dash quickly to retrieve it from the printer before Rosetta sees it.
I swipe the letter and trudge down the hall of his office. My heart is beating a mile a minute when I finally reach his desk. He’s busy at work and doesn’t notice me for the longest time. I walk up slowly, letter in hand, and he finally glances up. “Oh, good morning, Grasshopper.”
I hand him the letter. “Sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”
He peruses it quickly. “What?”
He looks up at me with wide eyes. “What is this? Why? Is it because of Ethan? Because of this weekend?”
“No, Weston,” I snap. “It’s because of us. Because of you and me.”
“What in the heavens do you mean?” He clearly doesn’t get it. He doesn’t even realize he’s hurt me.
“I can’t keep having this relationship with you,” I try to explain. “Whatever this thing between us is. I can’t—”
“This thing between us?” he scoffs. “This thing between us is a relationship, Gretchen.”
“Is it?” I ask. “Sure. You fuck me over your desk, and you slap me on the ass, but what am I really to you?”
“Lower your voice, please.”
“No, I won’t lower my voice. I’m tired of obeying you. I’m not your little grasshopper, your good girl, your sweetie. I’m not just some thing for you to play with.”
His jaw is on the floor. I’ve apparently left him speechless, and I’m not even done.
“And I’m not your employee anymore. You can no longer tell me what to do.”
“But… I don’t tell you what to do,” he points out. “If anyone has anyone wrapped around their little finger, it’s you.”
I shake my head. “Right.”
“What in the heavens is going on, Gretchen? What has changed between now and last Friday?”