The Boss Upstairs - Roya Carmen Page 0,54
“But no… yet… when I saw you standing there, in front of my tie collection, I was suddenly very inspired. I don’t know what it is about you, but you inspire me to venture outside the ordinary.”
“All the boys say that about me,” I joke. Ironically, I’ve only been with one man.
He laughs. “I think it’s because you’re playful.”
I smile. “I am… I suppose. It used to get on Donovan’s nerves sometimes. He accused me of acting like a child more than once.”
“He was a serious type, was he?”
“Sometimes,” I say. “But he also had a great sense of humor. He could always make me laugh.”
“That’s key,” he says. “Bridget and I didn’t laugh often. It’s probably one of the reasons I turned to Mirella. She also had a childlike quality about her. She was never too serious… not until the end.”
Mirella.
“You really loved her, didn’t you?” I ask, a pang of jealousy at the pit of my stomach, jealousy over a woman I’ve never met, a happily married woman who lives hundreds of miles away.
“I did,” he admits. “And she broke my heart. And I believe I broke hers a little too.”
“I bet you did.”
Ethan throws his sippy cup on the floor, and we both bend down to retrieve it. We resurface and smile at each other.
“Tell me about her,” I say. “About Mirella… how is she doing?”
He smiles. “She’s happy. I can see it in the photos she shares. Her daughters are beautiful. Chloe looks like Gabe… that’s Mirella’s husband, and Claire looks more like her. They’re thirteen and eleven now, I believe. She still paints watercolors and teaches. She still visits often with her best friend. And she still collects brooches. She has a happy life. And I’m happy for her. We made the right decision. Both she and I.”
“Who broke it off?” I ask. I know I’m being super nosy, but I can’t help it.
“She did initially. I couldn’t let go… A lot happened, and eventually, I did. I made a conscious decision to let her go.”
The oven timer pings, and I silently curse it. How dare it interrupt our conversation. I reluctantly walk over and don my oven mitts. Thankfully, I need to let the lasagna cool for ten minutes.
“Sorry… go on.”
He smiles. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“I do.”
“Well, I just finally decided to let her go. With a lot of therapy, physio and psychological—”
“Why did you need physio?”
“Oh, I was in a serious car accident.”
“Oh no. I’m so sorry.”
“Cheez,” Ethan squeals. “Cheez.” He wants more cheese.
“No, no more cheese, baby,” I tell him. “You don’t want bad poops.”
Weston smiles.
“So the accident? Did it play a part in you deciding to let go?”
“It did.”
An uncomfortable silence fills the kitchen, and I’m dying to know more. As hard as it is, I respect his privacy and I don’t utter another word.
“She’d just ended it between us, and told me it was over. I was driving recklessly. It wasn’t like me at all. I was consumed with rage. God, I could have hurt someone…”
I remain silent. I study Ethan who is now amusing himself by breaking his crackers into the tiniest pieces.
“I didn’t consciously intend to spin myself off into the ditch. I just had no fear. A small of part of me wanted to die. I wasn’t even thinking…”
“Was it a suicide attempt?” I finally ask.
He is quiet for the longest time, lost in another place, another life. I slowly inch closer, wanting to comfort him. Could he really have tried to kill himself? I can’t imagine. Only the most intense love could drive someone to do that. Was what he shared with Mirella that intense? Did he love her that passionately?
I’m dying to know.
23
Finally, he shakes his head. “No… I wouldn’t say it was. It was a moment of insanity. As soon as the car span out of control, I realized I was in trouble, and I saw my children’s faces. I desperately wanted to turn back time, but it was too late.”
“God…”
Ethan has now made a complete mess of his crackers, but I couldn’t care less.
“But you were okay in the end… obviously.”
“I was lucky,” he says. “I thank God every day for letting me live, despite how reckless and foolish I was.”
“Your children needed you,” I tell him. “That’s why you were spared.”
He smiles, averting his gaze in Ethan’s direction.
“And a lot of other people too, I bet… me… I needed you.”
His grin reaches his ears. “Well, glad to hear that.”
“I