The Boss Upstairs - Roya Carmen Page 0,16

single word uttered. He is meticulous, and I attempt to mimic his actions. I’m awkward, all thumbs. Finally, he relieves me from my misery. “Get back to work, Grasshopper,” he says with a wink, and my stomach goes topsy-turvy.

“Are you sure, Mr. Hanson?”

He scowls at me.

“Uh… I mean Weston.”

He shoots me another playful wink. “That’s better.”

I scurry out, my insides shaking. My heart is still beating at a frantic pace when I get back to my desk. I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but there’s definitely something going on between us, an unmistakable chemistry.

Or maybe it’s all wishful thinking. Perhaps I’m just projecting. Because I’m so drawn to him, I might be imagining a reciprocated attraction.

Yep. In my dreams.

6

“Aren’t you happy?” I ask him. “It’s your favorite.”

I love the look on Ethan’s face when he digs into his favorite meal, my famous macaroni and cheese.

Patricia glances at the clock. “You should hurry. You’ll be late.”

“Thanks for being here,” I tell her. “You make my life so much easier.”

“I think it’s a great thing you’re doing,” she says. “You should have done it a long time ago. Roger and I started grief counseling just week’s after Donovan’s passing.”

A sharp pang stabs at my chest. She doesn’t know what part I played in her son’s death. She never will. If she knew, would she be here today? Would she still love me? I’d like to think she would.

“I don’t really enjoy it,” I confess. “I hate those kinds of things… sharing your feelings with strangers and all that.”

“Well, yes, they’re strangers at first, but then you get to know them better, and they’re in a position to understand what you’re going through. You should really try to befriend someone in your group. I did… my friend, Laurie. And we’re still friends today. She’s also lost a grown son.”

“I guess you’re right… I should try.”

She sweeps a finger across Ethan’s forehead, clearing his hair from his eyes. He’s due for a haircut. “I was so angry. I was mad at the world, and everyone tip-toeing around me. People couldn’t look me in the eye for the longest time… it was awful.”

I grab my purse from the table. “Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean.”

“I found the grief group really helped with that. The dynamic was completely different there, a place where people really understood, a little haven from the real world.”

I give Ethan another bite, and he eats it up. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“Now let me take over,” Patricia insists. “You need to go.”

I bounce from the table. “Yeah, I should go.” I hastily grab my jacket, and slip on my boots.

“See you soon.”

Samuel smiles at me as soon as I enter the hall, as if he’s been eagerly awaiting my arrival. No one else seems to notice my sudden appearance, too busy chatting and helping themselves to coffee.

I take a seat next to him, and we exchange the usual polite chit-chat.

When Deanna finally sits down with us, the room suddenly falls quiet, and she gets the meeting going, asking how everyone’s week was.

There’s one new member tonight. A woman named Bernadette. But she insists that we all call her Bernie. I’m not sure I’ll be able to. Bernie sounds like a little old man’s name. She’s also lost a husband, but she’s younger than Charmaine. Her story is also sadder since she lost her husband to prostate cancer. She tells us about his long battle, and how hard it was. His passing was a relief, for the both of them.

Some say I was lucky to not to go through that with Donovan. He died instantly. Yet, I never had the chance to anticipate his passing, to prepare myself. I was blindsided, and I wasn’t prepared.

We go around in a circle and share what steps we’ve taken this week to move forward. I tell them all about my new job, and they seem genuinely happy for me. All the while, I’m also thinking about my new crush. I would never dream of confessing it to these people. It all feels so inappropriate and wrong. Firstly, because he’s my boss, and secondly because I’m still grieving Donovan. I still miss him every day, and I still wear his ring on my finger.

Samuel tells us all about joining a dating site, and the disastrous date he went on with a woman who wanted to call him Daddy. For a brief moment, we all forget our lost ones, if only for a