Like a Boss - Annabelle Costa Page 0,68

conference call. I’ll never be able to forget that. Who treats human beings that way?

“You don’t trust me anymore,” Luke observes. His voice is sad.

“I guess I don’t,” I admit.

“I was afraid this would happen,” he says quietly.

Luke and I just stay there on the street, not saying a word. I wish I could undo everything that happened today. But he’s right. I can’t trust anything he says anymore.

I glance at the six steps into my building. “I think I should go,” I say.

Luke’s face fills with panic. “Ellie, no…”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I have to.”

“Tell me what to do,” he says. “Please, Ellie. Please tell me what I can do to make this right. I’ll do anything.”

For a second, I take his offer seriously. I try to think of something Luke could do to change the way I’m feeling right now. But there isn’t anything. I don’t think I could trust him again. He’s a monster. Everything Luke has ever told me has been a lie—I can’t be in a relationship with a man I can’t trust.

“I’m sorry,” I say again. “I… I better go.”

“Ellie!”

I start up the stairs, which I know is an impenetrable barrier for Luke. His front wheels bump against the bottom step, and he looks up at me. The frustration is plain on his face.

“Please let’s talk about this,” he says. “I know I can make this right.”

I put my hand on the door to the building. Luke backs up and slams into the front step a little harder, which knocks against his footplate, sending his right foot askew. But it does nothing to get him up the stairs.

“It’s over,” I say. “Don’t call me again.”

“Ellie!” he yells.

But it’s too late. I’m already walking into the building and closing the door behind me.

Chapter 27

I’ve never cried over a boy before. I always thought of it as something that dumb angst-y teenage girls do. That’s something I never was. Of course, I didn’t get any dates in high school, so that helped.

True to form, I don’t cry over Luke. I do feel shitty over the whole thing, though. I find myself thinking about him a lot, picturing the look on his face when I left him on the street, in front of my building. And even though I don’t cry, I pick up the phone no less than a dozen times to call him and tell him I made a terrible mistake.

And yes, part of me wonders if I made a mistake. I miss Luke. I want him back. I miss cuddling with him, I miss his smile, and I miss… well, you know. That.

And I did love him. I thought he had changed since college. How could I be so wrong about a person?

Luke doesn’t overwhelm me to get me back, even though he certainly has the means to do so. If he wanted to, he could buy me an island in the Caribbean to try to lure me back. But instead, he only sends flowers on the second day—a dozen roses left at my doorstep. The card says simply, “Please forgive me. I love you so much, Ellie. –Luke”

He doesn’t call at all. Not even once. I understand he’s trying to give me some space to work out my feelings as well as trying to maintain his own dignity. While I appreciate that, I also sort of wish he’d make some grand effort to show that he loves me, like sitting outside my window, blasting Peter Gabriel on a boom box. But that’s not Luke’s style.

I consider quitting my job. After all, how can I work for the guy after everything he’s done? I even went so far as to contact a recruiter, but they didn’t have anything local. I remember how much Rita was struggling to find work—I might have to move to another state if I give up this job. At the very least, I can let him fire me so I get a severance package.

Jenna has been transferred to the psych ward at the hospital due to her suicide attempt. I’ve been trying to reach her, but she doesn’t want to talk to anyone. It’s hard not to feel offended, given we were so close. It worries me that she might know about me and Luke. And maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to talk to me.

At the end of the week, Luke finally calls me. I see his name light up the screen, but I don’t click on the green