a Lamborghini, if that tells you anything,” Rome threw out, breaking his usual stoic silence.
“So, there he is,” Ace cut back in, “wearing shoes that cost hundreds, a suit that cost thousands—”
“Don’t forget whipping his man bun in the wind,” Luka interjected.
“—driving a car that cost hundreds of thousands, all while smoking a joint as he passed farmers on tractors at a hundred miles an hour.”
I rolled my eyes. “It wasn’t that damn fast.”
Luka snickered. “All of sudden, he sees cherries in his rearview.”
Lexi frowned. “Cherries?”
“The lights on top of a police car,” Gia explained. “A cop gets right on his tail and pulls him over.”
“But our intelligent brother here was so stoned that he couldn’t figure out how to get rid of the joint before the cop walked up to his window.” Ace was nearly busting a gut.
Using his thumb and index finger, Rome mimed dropping a spliff. “So, he just placed it right on top of the ash tray, still lit, in full view of the cop.”
Lexi’s mouth curved up into a grin as her sparkling eyes met mine. “Did you get arrested?”
I shook my head, my own grin forming before I could push it back. “The cop was all pissed off and red-faced. He took one look at me, one look at the joint, then told me to step out of the vehicle, at which point I was convinced I was going to jail. But he simply reached inside the car, took the joint, puffed on it, and yelled, ‘Slow the fuck down, pretty boy!’ Then he walked off and got back into his car, still puffing on my joint.”
I actually had to thank Ace for bringing that story up because I got to hear Lexi’s full-bodied laugh for the first time ever.
“You sound more upset that he stole your weed,” she giggled.
“I was. I’d gotten that stash from some Cambodians I knew. Shit was legit.”
Mom emptied her wine glass.
Once everyone got their laughter back under control, Gia said, “Hold on, let’s not forget about the Scottish hypothermia story.”
Jasmine—who’d laughed so hard she cried when she’d first heard that particular story—nearly spit out her mouthful of the “family brew,” as we called it. The appearance and taste resembled a wine/sangria drink, though the actual contents were a family secret and would forever stay that way. Lexi had already drunk two glasses of it, so I knew she had a buzz going on. She appeared riveted as Cris began telling the tale.
“This was a few years ago,” he said, talking with his hands. “He was acquiring his distillery in Scotland, which is located on one of the eight Scottish islands that are known for producing the best scotch in the world. Nico was purchasing the distillery from the old owner who was ready to retire but had no children of his own to leave it to.”
“So, the two of them started sampling the product,” Luka took over, smiling like a bastard. “It’s part of the culture over there, of course. Business is always conducted over drinks. Naturally, the old owner had been drinking his scotch for years, practically grew up on the stuff.”
“And Nico didn’t exactly have a really high tolerance for scotch,” Rome supplied.
Luka slapped the table, losing his shit. When he couldn’t get the words out, Ace took the ball. “Seeing this, the old man convinced Nico that such transactions are done a certain way in his country. The buyer must perform a task for the seller before the deal is sealed. A challenge, of sorts.”
“Basically, a dare,” Gia clarified.
“And what better prank to play on the drunk American than to convince him to jump into the ice-cold sea in the middle of November.” Cris paused dramatically before tacking on, “In nothing but his underwear.”
Lexi slapped a hand over her mouth to hold in her laughter.
Luka held up two fingers. “Two days he spent in the hospital, recovering from acute hypothermia.”
“You know the song, ‘I Left My Heart in San Francisco?’” Rome asked Lexi. Her expression said she didn’t but wasn’t going to say it. “Well, Nico’s version would be titled, ‘I Almost Left My Balls in Scotland.’”
That sent everyone off.
“What did the owner say?” Lexi turned to me, smiling.
I tucked my tongue in my cheek, fighting my own smile. “Said he’d never seen such balls on a lad, even if they were blue and shrunken. Then he gave me a discount on the sale in honor of my ‘bravery of a Scottish Highlander from the