There was another reason why I couldn’t just abruptly leave this city with Dimitri.
At least, I suspected there was another reason.
And one particular item in that bag would have all the answers.
This can’t be happening.
It had to have been that first time at the strip club. The one and only time we hadn’t used a condom. And, yes, I’d missed a day or two of taking the pill. But what were the odds that I would get pregnant the very first time I ever slept with Nico?
And we didn’t even sleep together that night.
Blyad’.
He’d impregnated me as he fucked me bareback up against the dirty wall of a seedy male strip club under black lights.
Real classy.
I glared down at the plastic stick in my hands. Two small blue lines stared back at me, cruelly taunting me with their life-altering revelation. Such a fragile little hunk of plastic. I could have probably snapped it in half with no effort at all, but it wouldn’t change anything. There would still be a wrecking ball heading toward me, ready to demolish my entire existence to rubble with a single swing. The power that little hunk of plastic wielded…
I’m pregnant.
I hadn’t been able to even whisper the words out loud yet because they were petrifying enough in my head.
And nauseating.
I turned around and bent over the toilet I was sitting on, retching until the contents of my stomach had been emptied, leaving my throat burning from the regurgitated acid.
I’m carrying Nico’s baby.
How did I even begin this conversation with him? The one time we’d talked about children after I’d casually brought up the fact that Val constantly hinted about being grandchild-less in her late fifties replayed in my mind.
Nico laughed. “Yeah, and she’ll be waiting a while longer, too. Jasmine told Cris she wants to give it a few more years. Ace and Roxy aren’t even engaged yet. And Luka and Rome certainly aren’t in the market for any baby mamas right now.”
“What about you?” I asked. “You never want kids?”
He looked thoughtful for about three seconds. “I haven’t given it a lot of thought. Honestly, I’ve never seen that happening for me. I doubt I’d make a good father. Plus, with all the traveling I do, it’s not really practical.”
Needless to say, I’d been crestfallen after hearing his disinterest toward something I’d been passionate about my entire life. Becoming a mother was something I’d always known would be in my future.
But not now.
Maybe a part of me had imagined those future kids being Nico’s. But even if the unlikely happened and this fake marriage ever became a real one, children were still a long way off.
Not anymore.
What the hell was I supposed to do?
Sure, Nico and I had been screwing like bunnies the past few weeks, but that didn’t constitute a relationship. We hadn’t discussed our feelings, though mine had undeniably grown to immeasurable heights. He was obviously possessive, territorial, jealous, and always greedy for time with me. Beyond that, I couldn’t tell what was in his head.
Certainly not children, though.
I’d go ahead and put money on the fact that kids were the furthest thing from this mind. Especially since he’d been completely preoccupied with family business ever since Enzo’s heart attack. Thankfully, he was out of the hospital and doing well at home. Nico had remained close to his father’s side ever since and hadn’t been arriving home until the evenings. Oh, but we’d made good use of those evenings, no question about it.
To be honest, I really didn’t know where Nico and I stood.
I know! Let’s have a baby! That will fix everything.
I rinsed out my mouth with water from the sink. After dabbing my forehead with a damp paper towel, I felt marginally better.
Until I left the bathroom.
Where I ran smack dab into Val.
In hindsight, the bathroom of the children’s center probably wasn’t the best place to take a pregnancy test. But after picking it up at the drugstore on the way here, there was no way I had enough patience to wait until I got home later to take it.
Her eyes flew over my face, most likely noting the lovely shade of green it had turned. Then those maternal eyes softened. “How far along are you, mia cara?”
I slapped my hand over my mouth, hiccupped, and burst into tears.
She immediately wrapped me up in her arms and whispered soothing words as she rubbed my back. Sadly, it was the first