you’re always locked in your room, scribbling away. I don’t know what you find to write about.’
I stared out the car window. Guernsey’s so small but everyone drives everywhere.
‘There’s only a week of term left, so no one will be doing any work,’ I said. ‘Can’t I just stay off until next term?’
Mum watched me out of the corner of her eye. ‘I know you’re upset about what happened to Nicolette but I don’t think you should get special treatment. You weren’t even that close to her.’
(That’s excellent proof how little Mum knows.)
Perhaps if I stop eating I’ll get certifiably sick. During the Occupation a lot of people had weak immune systems because they were so undernourished, and once they got sick there weren’t any drugs left to fix them. There were outbreaks of Diphtheria, Scarlet Fever, Typhus, worms, and all sorts of yucky things. When the insulin ran out Diabetics died, and without disinfectant even the smallest of cuts would get infected and couldn’t heal. They became known as Occupation Ulcers and sometimes proved fatal. But, on the bright side, there were noticeably fewer cases of depression. Presumably this was because people had real problems to worry about and no real time to obsess. (Although they had multiple, massive nervous breakdowns once they were liberated instead.)
Whatever the medical facts are, it would be best not to trust Dr Senner with them. He is The Most Crap Doctor in the Whole World (or Guernsey). I don’t know why Mum thought he could help me since it’s not like he helped Dad. The one time he came round to our house to see Dad they had a big argument and Dad was Horrified-and-Humiliated-of-St-Peter-Port (and went storming off). Dr Senner was useless then, and I don’t think much has changed. Besides, he’s already decided I’m trouble(d). He didn’t want Mum to leave us alone together, in case I accused him of sexual molestation.
‘There’s nothing physically wrong with you,’ he said, staying firmly behind his desk. ‘But obviously the mind is a powerful organ.’
I shrugged. ‘Mum insisted I see you. She’s obviously worried because of what happened with Dad. You should do some blood tests, or something. I think that’d keep her happy.’
Dr S. nodded absently, like he was playing along with a not-funny joke.
‘And what would you expect me to find?’
‘Hmmm, let me think,’ I tapped my chin. ‘Well, obviously not your homebrew since it all got drunk a few weeks back.’
Dr S. pushed his thumb into the top of his pen. He must feel pretty guilty that his homebrew was ‘Exhibit A’ after they found Nic’s battered remains in the sea.
During the War real alcohol was hard to come by, so people made their own, which was deadly lethal, and Dr Senner’s homebrew is no better. It was the first alcohol I ever tasted and I’m amazed anyone else would’ve willingly drunk it because it honestly tasted like vinegar plus floor cleaner. Dr S. let me try some when I was only 10 because he had this theory it would put me off for life. Dr Suck-It-Up knows alcoholism is a major problem on Guernsey, although Dad said the real problem was in Alderney.34
Dr S. was watching me through the shrubbery of his eyebrows.
‘So you don’t want to go back to school? I know Nicolette was a friend of yours. What you’re feeling, we are all feeling. Vicky is devastated. You should talk to her. If you sat down with your classmates, you could talk it through together.’
Talk it through with those cretins? I don’t think so.
Dr S. twiddled his pen between his fingers. ‘Maybe you feel bad that you weren’t at the party, maybe you think you could have stopped Nicolette.’
‘No,’ I said firmly, ‘I didn’t care whether or not I was invited to the party. I feel sorry for Vicky, that’s all. Nic used her like she used me. She called Vicky loads of horrible things, and even made jokes about when she’d have to start shaving.’
Dr S. frowned and I felt bad.
‘Sorry, but it’s true. I think it’s important to be honest since there’s been so much lying already. Nic used to make me lie. She was always egging me on to do bad stuff, and I know she was the same with Vicky.’
Dr S. nodded. ‘You seem angry.’
‘No,’ I sighed, ‘I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed that people aren’t admitting what Nic was really like. At least now she won’t be around to cause more trouble and upset, and