Bonus Kisses - Freya Barker Page 0,26

place of my own.”

“Why?” Kathleen seems genuinely stunned. “I mean, I figured you’d live at the house. Easier with the kids and all that. Did Rafe say something?” Her tone turns fierce on that last question.

“No. It’s not Rafe. At least, it’s nothing he said. The kids are at school, Rafe works all day, and I’m wearing spots in the furniture because cleaning is all I do to keep me busy. I feel like a poor replica of the real thing, but I’m not Nicky. I need to feel useful.”

“What does that have to do with the price of lemons? A poor replica? No one is expecting you to take Nicky’s place, but have you considered maybe it’s only you who thinks that? By all means get a job—nothing wrong with wanting to feel useful or paying your way—but why does that mean you have to move out? It just doesn’t compute.”

“It’s complicated,” I mutter, looking down at my toes.

“Uncomplicate it for me,” she fires right back. “From where I stand, living in one place, working in another, and then looking after two young kids at a third location is what would complicate things.” Suddenly she leans forward squinting her eyes. “Wait a minute…”

“Kathleen…” I try, but it’s no use, she’s like a terrier with a bone.

“It’s Rafe, isn’t it? He may not have said anything but he did something, didn’t he?”

For some reason she has never been a fan of Rafe. I never told her I had feelings for my brother-in-law-to-be—too embarrassing—but that doesn’t mean she didn’t suspect. “He’s done nothing. He’s simply…Rafe.” I shrug dismissively, but Kathleen has known me a long time. She’s not easily fooled.

“Do you have feelings for him?” She rolls her eyes and slaps the palm of her hand to her forehead. “You do, you have feelings for him. Oh my God, Taz, your sister was right.”

It’s my turn to look stunned. “About what?”

“Oh, this is rich. Nicky once told me she suspected Rafe picked the wrong Boran sister.”

Chapter Ten

Taz

“Where do you want to start?”

It had been Kathleen who suggested getting my mother involved in sorting through Nicky’s things.

She and I talked a few times since she grilled me in the school parking lot. The most recent was this past week over coffee at her and Brent’s place. This time it was me who broached the subject of Rafe. I told her everything starting from the first time I met him at my parents’ house. I didn’t leave anything out, and I felt relieved once I laid it all on the table. Everything that happened before I walked into my sister’s hospital room, and everything after.

Kathleen had listened quietly—for which I was grateful—until I finally admitted my feelings for him were still strong, as well as utterly impossible. That’s when she spoke up, and she wasn’t shy about telling me I was an idiot for thinking I could ignore my feelings. Then and now. She further suggested I work on fixing my relationship with my parents before I hop in the sack with Rafe, a notion I reminded her would require two willing parties, to which she rolled her eyes.

I felt a lot lighter. I’d missed that, having someone to gab with about everything or nothing. Someone who knows your past and your present, who can listen patiently, but isn’t afraid to give it to you straight when you need it. Amid the minefields I walk daily, with the kids, Rafe, and my parents, Kathleen’s brand of honesty is a welcome relief.

When we were younger I used to share everything with her, but that stopped nine years ago, when I’d found myself falling fast for my sister’s boyfriend. Shame, I suppose. It’s not exactly the kind of information you’d proudly want to broadcast. Back then I never even explained why I ended up beelining it out of Eminence with barely a goodbye, but she knows now.

In fact, I’ve shared more about myself in my recent talk with Kathleen than I have with anyone in the past decade.

Still, I wasn’t automatically on board when she proposed I ask Mom for her help. It was her comment that all it takes to move forward is for someone to take a step in the right direction. Her point hit home.

“I think the closet?” I answer Mom who nods.

“We’ll need some garbage bags.”

“There’s a box in the pantry.”

While she goes to grab bags, I pour us some coffee to take up. This is a task I’ve been avoiding