Bonus Kisses - Freya Barker Page 0,16

at the impact of it.

Mom walking in is for once a welcome distraction.

“Good Lord, what did you all get?” she asks.

“Enough so we won’t run out for a while.”

Any tension between Mom and Rafe after their run-in—over me—last night seems to have dissipated. I’m relieved. The last thing Nicky needs is more discontent at her bedside.

“What would you guys like for dinner?” Mom asks.

I’d planned to do soup and sandwiches for an easy meal, but I’m not about to stop my mother if she wants to do the cooking instead.

“Spaghetti and meatballs,” Spencer announces at the same time his sister blurts out, “Pizza!”

“Why don’t we do spaghetti tonight, and save the pizza for a day nobody feels like cooking,” Mom diplomatically intervenes. “Maybe we can order from Nando’s and get some of those cinnamon sticks they have for dessert?”

“Taz?” I look up to find Chantal sticking her head around the door. “I could use a hand.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask, following her out into the hallway.

“Your sister had an accident. If we do it together we can get her cleaned up in no time.”

Dad’s sitting on the edge of the couch, looking a little uncomfortable when we walk in.

“Hey, Dad, do you mind if I help you into the kitchen for a bit? Chantal wants to check on Nicky real quick.”

His responding nod is almost grateful.

I grab his walker, help him up, and guide him down the hall. Rafe must’ve been watching the door because he moves quickly toward us. “Keep everyone here for bit?” I ask quietly. “We need to change the bed.”

“Sure,” he whispers before turning to my father. “Come on, Dad. Let’s get you a drink. It’s about that time.”

I hear Mom asking what’s going on, but I leave it to Rafe to answer.

“I’m sorry,” Nicky apologizes when I walk in. “I was too late.”

“Hush.” I quickly take up position on the other side of her bed, and without wasting any more words, we quickly deal with her wet bedding and nightie.

“It’s up to you,” Chantal suggests when Nicky is cleaned up, “but I brought a catheter. It would take me two minutes to place and you wouldn’t have to worry about any accidents. Or,” she adds, “as an alternative, we can get you some adult diapers.”

Exhausted, Nicky waves her hand. “Catheter.”

Regardless of the fact my sister was naked as a jaybird a minute ago, I step away from the bed to leave Nicky with some dignity while I let Chantal take care of the catheter. By the time she pulls the covers over my sister, Nicky looks asleep.

“I’ll keep everyone out of here for a bit so she can sleep,” I whisper to the nurse.

“Don’t.” The voice coming from the hospital bed is firm. My sister’s eyes are open. “I like the sounds. It makes me feel part of life.”

I make my way over to the bed and lean down, touching my forehead to hers. “You’ll always be part of our life.”

“I love you, Natasha,” she mumbles her eyes fluttering shut again.

“I love you too, Veronica.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and press a kiss on her cheek.

“Bonus kiss,” I tell her, but she’s already drifted off.

Rafe

Time becomes tangible when every second carries more weight than the one before.

That’s what it feels like.

Over the course of yesterday, Nicky drifted further and further away. Her moments of wakefulness becoming more infrequent and less lucid. Taz explained that was, in part, due to the morphine, but also the ever-waning energy as her body struggles to keep blood flowing.

Her extremities are so cold and the tips of her fingers and toes are turning blue with the lack of oxygen.

I helped Taz change the sheets in the master bedroom for Sarah and Ed. It was Taz who suggested they stay. I don’t think they missed the implication. We can all see Nicky’s close to the end.

Even Spencer, a normally energetic kid, is sensing it, and both he and his sister have taken turns quietly snuggling up to their mom in her bed.

We even watched a movie last night, trying hard to maintain some normalcy. I ended up carrying the kids to bed while Sarah and Taz helped Ed up the stairs.

For the past couple of hours, I’ve been listening to my wife’s labored breathing, while Taz is dozing on the couch.

“Please…” The rasp of Nicky’s voice holds an urgency that has Taz and me both rush to the side of the bed.

Taz takes one look at her sister and turns