Bonus Kisses - Freya Barker Page 0,14
not getting better, is she?”
I would’ve done anything to avoid this moment, and yet, I’ve known it was inevitable. I’m about to break my daughter’s heart and it’s killing me. The temptation to lie to her is great, but we agreed we’d be honest with the kids. “I’m sorry, baby, but she’s not.”
Her brown eyes quietly fill with tears as she nods in understanding. Taking it on the chin. It would almost be easier if she’d break down and plead for a different outcome. Seeing this kind of resignation in my little girl is tearing me apart.
“Then why didn’t she stay in the hospital?”
“Because she wants to spend as much time as she can with the people she loves most.” I hope I’m explaining it right. It’s not like there’s a handbook I can consult on how to deal with a situation like this.
“Does it hurt?”
“She gets medicine to help with that.”
“Is she scared?”
Christ.
“I imagine so, but I think maybe we can make it a little less scary if we love her really hard.” She nods with a serious face and pulls the covers up to her nose. I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Try and get a little more sleep.”
I’m almost out of the room to grab my shower when I hear her.
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“Can you make blueberry pancakes for breakfast?”
“Sure thing, baby,” I answer with a lump in my throat.
Sofie hates blueberry pancakes, but they’re Nicky’s favorite.
The curtains are still closed when I walk into the living room.
I’ve come to expect Taz to be up by the time I get downstairs. It takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness to find her pillow and quilt crumpled on the couch, but no Taz.
My eyes immediately drift to the hospital bed where I find her gaze on me, a very still Nicky wrapped in her arms. I freeze at the sight, but Taz notices and quickly reassures me.
“She’s sleeping,” she whispers.
I nod, breathing in deeply to loosen the tight band around my chest. “I’ll make us some coffee.”
By the time I carry in a mug for Taz, she’s managed to leave Nicky sleeping in bed and is putting away the bedding from the couch.
“Tough night?” I ask, handing her the coffee, keeping my eyes on her face.
“A little,” she admits, groaning when she takes a sip of the hot brew. “Thanks. I needed that. What time is it?”
“Coming on six thirty.”
“Shit. I should grab a quick shower. Chantal’s going to be here at seven.”
“Go,” I tell her, taking a seat on the chair closest to Nicky’s bed. “I’ve got her.”
She shows me a little tired smile before she darts up the stairs and I force my eyes on my wife.
The two girls used to look alike; luxurious red-brown hair, olive skin, and large brown liquid eyes. You’d have to be blind not to see they were sisters.
They couldn’t look more different now. Nicky’s pallor is a sickly gray, her once luxurious hair a lank helmet around her head, and her skin almost translucent. In the past few weeks she’s become a shadow of herself. Taz, with her colorful dreads, bright eyes, and tan complexion is almost the polar opposite. Alive and vibrant.
I take a sip of my coffee, listening to Nicky’s labored breathing. Every so often a silence falls, and I anxiously wait for her next inhale. It’s possible that one of these times the next breath never comes.
Leaning my head back I close my eyes, calming my own heart.
“I was wrong to let you be angry at her.”
Her voice—so unexpected—startles me and I almost spill coffee over myself. “Sorry?”
“Taz. She didn’t deserve the blame she carried.”
Intrigued, I lean forward in my chair and listen.
Taz
“Take over.”
The spatula is shoved in my hand the moment I step into the kitchen, and in the next I watch Rafe’s back disappear out the door.
What the hell?
I’d love to go after him, but the pancakes on the griddle need flipping, and I bumped into Sofie on the landing upstairs, so I know she’ll be down any minute.
Between batches of pancakes, I sneak a peek into the living room to find my sister looking back over Sofie’s head. I didn’t hear her come down, but somehow she ended up in bed with Nicky. I shoot her a soft smile and duck back into the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt their moment.
I’m about to set the table when Chantal walks in the back door, Rafe right behind her.
“How was your night?” the nurse asks,