wait in the hall, the country club staff standing stock still. I guess disagreements over golf don’t usually get so heated.
“Christ, Sterling. Are you alright?”
I realize one of the faces is Cyrus, who’s coming out of the restroom.
“Sterling?”
I realize I want to punch him, too. I’ve got to get control of myself. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, but it makes little difference.
“I know this look,” he says. “Follow me.”
I let him guide me down a flight of stairs and a hallway, and we arrive at a pair of double doors with a large sign hanging over them: The Nineteenth Hole. Inside, the room is dark, only the outlines of high tables and chairs silhouetted by the lights outside.
“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him,” I say, taking one of the stools at the bar, which is right next to the doors. I realize my hands are clenched into fists and force them to loosen. “I should go back up there. Let him know exactly—”
“Whoa, man. That’s not a good idea.” He stoops behind the bar and begins rummaging around. “I’m not saying he doesn’t have it coming. I think everyone has fantasized about killing Angus MacLaine at some point. It’s a Valmont rite of passage.”
“Did it ever occur to you he got this way because no one ever has kicked his ass?” They’re cowards. All of them. That’s why he wheels around like a king on his throne. Because no one ever challenges his authority.
“Did it seriously occur to me to attack the most powerful man in Valmont with the kind of resources that could ruin me and my family? No.”
“Nobody’s brave enough, huh?”
“Nobody’s that stupid,” he corrects me.
That’s what he doesn’t understand. The line between bravery and stupidity comes down to success. Fail to take the crown, and you’re stupid. Conquer a kingdom, and you’re brave. Maybe it’s a lot easier to see more than one outcome when you have nothing more to lose.
“Normally, this wouldn’t be the best thing for you,” he says, thumping down a bottle of whiskey, along with a crystal rocks glass, “but it’s got to be better than killing your girlfriend’s father.”
For a moment I try looking anywhere but at the bottle. Cyrus’s face is cast in just a few shades of grey, his expression a mixture of concern and, I think, condescension. Part of me knows that he’s trying to help, that my anger just wants an outlet, but I can’t stand the way these people look at me, like I’m a misbehaving puppy that has to grow out of this phase.
“Thanks,” I say, getting up from my stool and swiping the bottle of whiskey. “I need to get out of here.”
I expect him to object, but he surprises me by giving a small nod. Then again, I did just threaten to murder the father of the groom. “I’ll let Adair know you left.”
I don’t know where I’m headed, but it doesn’t really matter as long as it’s somewhere I can be alone with my bottle.
3
Adair
My heart skips a beat, and I rush towards the ornate french doors along the opposite wall of the room. The biting snarl of my father grows closer with each step I take.
“Wasn’t it wonderful?” a dreamy voice asks as a clammy hand lands on my forearm.
I turn to discover Ginny with one hand on me and the other holding the ivory silk of her dress while beaming like a spotlight from some combination of romance and champagne.
“It was, but my dad” I begin to tell her that I don’t have time to listen to her moon over my brother, who doesn’t actually deserve the admiration, while my father attacks my boyfriend. But it’s not Ginny’s fault that my family can’t behave themselves for one night. Why should I be the one to ruin it for her? She’ll discover the truth soon enough. She knows what it’s like in my house—how could she not? But she doesn’t know what it's like to live that way week after week, year after year. She hasn’t developed radar for my father’s fits of rage. She is happy. At her wedding. I don’t need to take that from her. Someone else will. So I take a second, as if I’m trying to find just the right description of my brother’s show, before continuing, “It was really special. You know, I don’t think my brother ever planned anything before. Definitely not a symphonic flash mob. Did you like it?”