to keep it. Her copy of Persuasion is gone along with the antique copy of The Sun Also Rises she gave me for Christmas. I shouldn’t be surprised. I shouldn’t be hurt. Those weren’t my books anyway. These ones are mine, notes and all. It’s not much reading material to take with me. Francie flat refuses to send me shit. She’s still upset about what she calls my ‘idiotic decision.’
“So, are you at bootcamp?” he asks.
“Finished. I have a few days before I head to Camp Lejeune for special ops assessment.”
“Special ops?” Cyrus whistles, running a hand over his hair. I guess I finally impressed him. “Wow, just wow. And then?”
“More training, get stationed somewhere.” I know the basics. I signed the paperwork. The details hardly matter though.
“Like Iraq or something?”
I suspect it’s all the same to him. “Something like that. I don’t really know.”
“How long are you going to be in town?” he asks.
“Only until tomorrow,” I say. “I figured I would tie a few things up. Say goodbye.”
“To me?” Cyrus grins widely. “Thanks, man.”
“I don’t think anyone else will miss me.” I have a fleeting fantasy of going to Windfall to bid Angus MacLaine farewell by pissing on the polished marble floor in the foyer. It might finally get Adair’s attention. Nothing else has: not my calls or texts or emails.
“You really didn’t come back to see Adair?” Cyrus presses.
“Would it matter if I did?” I shrug, ignoring how my heartbeat ratchets up at hearing her name. Sometimes, I think I dreamt her—that I dreamt all of this. But standing here now I know that’s not true. All of it happened. All of it.
“You have a day,” Cyrus says. “Look, I don’t know exactly what went down between you two. She won’t talk about it, even with Poppy. But I bet she wouldn’t want you to wind up at war or something without saying goodbye.”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s ignoring me. She has for months. She chose her family. You know that.” He’d been the one to tell me exactly how it worked. He knows that it doesn’t matter. She’s made her choice—and it wasn’t me.
“Write her a note,” he suggests. “I’ll make sure it gets to her. You’ve got twenty-four hours, right?”
“Yeah…” I hate the hope that surges through me at his suggestion. Cyrus might be the only way to reach her. Somewhere deep down I must have known that. I must have known that when I decided to come here rather than partying with the guys in Nashville on our last night in the states.
He grabs a notebook and a pencil for me. “I need to get to Finance and beg my girlfriend’s forgiveness for fraternizing with the enemy. If you leave it here, I’ll get it to her tonight. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”
“Are you sure?”
“At least, you’ll know. Poppy told me something about girls wanting closure or some shit. I don’t know, but it can’t hurt.” Cyrus claps me on the back. “Good luck, man. Stay safe. Lock the door behind you?”
“Will do,” I say absently. I’m already thinking about the note—about what to say. The truth is that there’s too much to say—too much we left unfinished. I can’t put it all in a note, and it won’t tell me what I need to know: why did she turn her back on me? Why did she choose her family over me? I know what Poppy and Cyrus said about social status and expectations. They said these things happen like I’d gotten a flat tire. I need to hear her say it before I’ll believe it. In the end, I don’t even try to write it all down. I settle for something simpler. A time and a place. The only way we’re going to work through this is together, and if things are going to end, they should end face-to-face.
Maybe Cyrus is right and I was nothing more than a reckless fling to her, but he’s wrong about one thing I realize as I fold up the note and write her name on it. This could hurt. A lot. I just have to hope it doesn’t.
Hennie’s is dead for a Tuesday night. My options were limited when it comes to places that mean something to her and I. There’s no way I’m stepping one foot inside Windfall. Not after what her father did to me. I didn’t feel comfortable asking her to my old dorm room, since I don’t live there anymore. Plus, I don’t want to