back to normal, but only as long as you don’t make the situation worse.”
“Exactly,” Poppy agrees.
“Sure, cool.” I don’t mean it. Have I been infected with the faux politeness of the South, too? Or am I too busy dwelling on what rung of the social ladder I’m on in their minds?
Or am I on it at all?
“Poppy, I’ll be over in an hour or so, okay?” He ends the call. “Back to the dorm room?”
I slump in my seat. “Can you stop at a liquor store on the way?”
Why the fuck not? There’s nothing left to lose.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“You got a better one?”
He doesn’t argue with me after that. Why would he? We both know the answer. There are no good options. No choices left to make. He can see that, even knowing half the information. I never stood a chance, which means that they’re all right about me. So, why not enjoy the little time I have left?
7
Adair
“Adair, you have to get out of bed today.”
Poppy’s voice, muffled by the closed door, cuts through the musty air in my room, waking me up from a nightmare. Sterling and I were in New York. We’d been struggling to get by, I think. He wanted us to charge people money to watch us have sex. He kept saying it was the only way. I’m clutching the covers to my neck when I wake up, drenched in sweat, and bolt upright, my nerves as ragged as the moment I fell asleep.
It was just a dream. Just another nightmare.
How can anyone sleep as much as I have and still be so tired? What time is it, anyway? Day? Night? Dream? Nightmare? It’s all blending into one endless black stretch.
I know my phone died a couple days ago. I forgot to bring a charger from my place on campus. I know I’ve been at Windfall for about five days, meaning it’s been two since Sterling came by. So it’s...Wednesday?
“Adair, can you hear me? I’m coming in.”
“No!” I yelp, trying to leap up from the bed, but my body is stiff and slow to respond. I’ve barely managed getting my feet on the ground when Poppy’s golden silhouette appears in the door.
“Jesus, it’s like a cave in here! How do you see?”
My eyes, acclimated to the dark, have no trouble seeing Poppy stalk across the room toward the blackout curtains blocking the outside world. “Don’t!”
“Hush. It’s for your own goo—” Her foot clips a stack of pizza boxes sitting on the floor, and she almost falls face first on them. The smell of mushrooms and cheese waft over to me, and my stomach grumbles so loudly Poppy can actually hear it.
She reaches the curtains and pulls them back a little, letting sunlight in the room. “There. That’s better.”
The light is headache-inducing, forcing me to squint. “What time is it?”
“Do you even know what day it is?” Poppy says, her brow creased in a way that reminds me of mom.
For a second, I let myself pretend she is Mom, that we’re about to talk—that things are about to get better. But it only hurts more. “Wednesday, I think.” I leave Poppy standing by the window and shuffle toward the ensuite to brush my teeth. I love a supreme pizza, but the onions are killer the next morning. So, is the heartburn.
“It’s fucking Friday!”
I bite back a rare smile at the sound of fuck coming from her. There’s always just a second of hesitation before she curses. “Alright, already. I’m up. What more do you want?”
“What’s going on, Adair? Sterling and Cy tried to come by and see you, but Windfall security threatened to arrest them both. They were going to pepper spray them! You aren’t returning anyone’s calls. People are worried.”
I knew this moment would come. I can’t keep avoiding people forever. But here, in my room full of all my things, with the doors closed, with the gates of Windfall manned by security—at least I feel safe. “One sec, let me brush my teeth.”
When I come back into the bedroom, Poppy has fully opened the curtains, grabbed all the pizza and takeout boxes littered around the room, and plopped them in the hall outside my door. I nearly start to cry. Other than Felix, no one’s bothered to check in on me. I feel more like a prisoner than a victim.
When Poppy sees me, her expression softens. She sits on my bed, patting the space next to her. “Whatever it is,