Blow - Kim Karr Page 0,99

to figure out where I was.

Elle’s.

Fuck!

Instantly, I snapped awake.

Drenched in a cold sweat and breathing hard, I managed to heave myself out of bed and over to the window without waking Elle. Taillights blinked down the road. I fucking hated that she lived on a corner.

The digital clock read 2:40 and I decided to slide back into bed for another hour. I should have already left. We’d redressed when I was planning on it earlier but then she’d asked me to stay. Now, I couldn’t. I wanted to tell her I was leaving before I actually did and I didn’t want to wake her yet.

I walked the line between right and wrong.

Sometimes towed it.

But tried really hard not to cross it.

Yet, her father was a man I might just kill with my bare hands if I ever laid eyes on him. To do what he’d done to his wife and children was unforgivable, and in his case I’d take the role of judge, jury, and executioner if I had to. I didn’t know him. Didn’t know his background. I didn’t have to—he, like Tommy, was a coward of a man who preyed on women to make himself feel more like a man, and like Tommy, he was a man I’d love to bring to his knees.

Tommy, though, was forbidden territory—her father was not.

My brain started swimming with everything going on in my life, but then her body found mine and we melded together like two puzzle pieces. I found a strange peace in the feel of her skin against mine. Giving in to it, I closed my eyes and let the calmness suck me in.

I jolted awake.

Fuck, it was dawn.

I’d only meant to sleep another hour. I shouldn’t have stayed here all night with my SUV parked right in front of her place.

I knew better.

I fucking knew better.

I did.

Needing a moment, I didn’t move. I stayed where I was, with my heart racing and my breathing as heavy as though I’d been running.

A few calming breaths had me thinking more clearly. Regardless of how reckless I felt right now, I wouldn’t have changed anything. There was no way I could have left.

She needed me.

Elle needed me and I had to be there for her.

With that very thought in my mind, I opened my eyes to look at her. She was in my arms and although I knew it was wrong, it still felt so right.

Last night we crossed a line we shouldn’t have. A line that brought us closer, and considering my current situation, that was unfair. She told me things about herself that were difficult, not only for her to say but for me to hear. She didn’t know what she was involving herself in with me. I was an asshole for not confessing my sins right then. She spilled her heart and I couldn’t even tell her what being with me meant to her safety. I wanted to. I tried to. I just couldn’t. I knew if I did, she’d make me go, and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

Not yet.

I had to hold on until Friday for her sake, and mine.

I had to keep her safe or I’d lose my mind.

That was the bottom line.

I drew a deep breath and exhaled.

When I did, a hand reached up and touched the side of my face. It was a delicate touch. A soft one.

One that I really liked.

One I should push away.

One I knew I wouldn’t.

I wanted to feel it.

I wanted to do more than feel it.

I wanted to own it.

The thought made me sit up.

Dangerous.

My heart was still pounding and it wasn’t slowing down.

I’d made some stupid decisions in my life and some not-so-stupid ones. The one to stay away from anyone who might get hurt because of me was one of the smarter ones. And I’d been doing that. Doing great at it. It had become my way of life. But it had seemed so much easier before her. Was she a “before” and “after” marker in my life? Was I destined to have an after Emily, a before Kayla, and now a before and after Elle?

Fuck!

The thought had my head spinning.

“Good morning,” she said into my ear in a low, slightly purring voice.

That was all I needed. I would take care of whatever I had to take care of, but right now, I needed her in my life. I’d never felt anything like what I was feeling for her with anyone else. I couldn’t let her