Blow - Kim Karr Page 0,89
be there who’d want me. That night I picked a man and gave myself to him. It hurt, physically and emotionally, but it was quick. When it was done, I felt more lost than I had before—it meant nothing. I felt nothing. Sex really was meaningless.
Logan’s breath blew warm across my shoulder, and I made myself push that dark and tainted memory from my mind. With him everything felt different. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe, just maybe, sex could be meaningful. Maybe I had been going at it the wrong way this whole time. I had been looking for what it was that turned my father into the man he was instead of allowing myself to figure out what I needed from the act itself.
And with Logan I knew what it was. I wanted to give myself to him and in turn to feel what it was like for someone to give himself to me. We might have just met, we might only be fucking, but we were both pouring ourselves into what we were doing.
Together, we moved with wild abandon; we gave freely to each other. It was the give and take that mattered the most and I loved every minute of it.
Beating hearts with pulling and pushing bodies and ragged breathing was what we were, and I relished in it.
His desire-laced voice whispered, “Let go.”
By the time those two words traveled and his breath blew hot against my skin as his mouth sought out my ear, I was already tipping, ready to free-fall into the pleasure that was building within me. My pulse pounded. My heart beat rapidly. His words pushed me over the edge rather than forcing me to retreat. I even had to bite my lip to stop the passionate cry I felt in my throat.
In an unexpected move, his bare chest met my bare back and he reached for my hands, intertwining our fingers and pulling our connected hands toward our connected bodies. The tenderness of the moment was too much and I couldn’t stop the strangled cry I’d been holding back.
With my eyes squeezed tightly shut, my body took over and I could do nothing but feel. With all thoughts destroyed, I absorbed the delicious fullness of having him inside me. Without warning, an unexpected sensation overtook me. And it didn’t pass. Each joyous beat of my climax drove that glorious feeling of having him inside me higher and higher until I was soaring in ecstasy.
Logan’s thrusts slowed as soon as my pussy began to tighten around his cock. His fingers squeezed mine when his body stilled. His grunting sigh echoed beautifully in my ear as he, too, experienced what we both obviously needed—a release.
He dropped his head into the crook of my neck and for a few minutes, we stayed that way—me cocooned in his warm body bent over the table. I wasn’t sure what would happen when I turned around. Would he run like he had last night?
Once I caught my breath and my legs stopped shaking, I shifted my stance. I didn’t want this moment to end, but I knew it had to. Logan pulled out of me and I turned around. Perhaps conveniently, perhaps not, he twisted to take care of the condom.
I leaned against the table and watched him. I thought about gathering my clothes. I should have been embarrassed standing there naked, but I wasn’t.
He wrapped the very used condom in a napkin and tossed it in the trash can near the bar. Focusing on the task at hand, he slipped into his boxers and started to gather the rest of our clothes. I should have helped him, but something kept me glued to where I stood. I thought now that the act of intimacy was complete and the tension between us eased, he’d just toss me mine.
Imagine my surprise when he crossed the room. That tension that I thought was gone was stronger than ever. We both felt it. I know we did. The draw to touch other, the need to feel each other, to somehow know each other, was stronger than ever. Denying it would be futile.
With the same tenderness I’d felt from him earlier, Logan tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and then shocked me by looking into my eyes. I didn’t know what I saw in this, but I wanted to know.
I opened my mouth to say something. What, I had no idea. Before I could, he broke our intense connection