Blow - Kim Karr Page 0,20

saw what that did to her. She was older than me and I didn’t want to be like her. But after a while, it was hard not to hate it. Every base looked like the last, but it wasn’t. I never had any friends. Then, when I was a teen, I found something that I loved about the constant moving.”

Curiosity gleamed in his eyes. “Oh yeah, what?”

I took a bite of one of my fries. “Instead of worrying about trying to make friends that I knew I’d have to leave, I threw myself into the countries and studied them. Their traditions. Common phrases. What each country valued. What they produced. I immersed myself in their cultures.”

He raised a brow. “Wow, I’m impressed.”

Already more than full, I pushed my basket away. “Don’t be. It wasn’t a life I’d wish on any child. I just tried to make the best of it.”

“Your mother and father didn’t know how much you and your sister disliked it?”

I gave him another dry laugh. “I’m not sure. I doubt it would have mattered if they did. My father only cared about himself and my mother was too concerned with making sure the General was happy.”

This was more than I’d spoken about my family in years, and to be fair, my mother wanted to keep my father happy to maintain a sense of calm in our household. She was more of a victim than anything else. I felt guilty not explaining that. But that would only lead to places I didn’t want to go.

“Where are your parents now?” he asked.

The question surprised me. I hadn’t thought of my mother or my father as parents in so long. Again, the need to speak honestly overtook me. “My mother’s dead and I haven’t spoken to my father since the day I left for college. I have no idea where he is.”

Something came over me. I had to get out of here before I broke down. With trembling fingers, I picked up the bill and looked at the total.

When I reached into my purse to leave some money, Logan grabbed the check from me. “I asked you out. I got this.”

“Thank you. It was really good, but I need to get going. I’ll grab a taxi.” I suddenly felt like I should get away from him. He was making me feel things I didn’t want to be feeling. Thoughts of my parents seemed to be strangling me. I quickly jumped to my feet.

Concern glimmered in his eyes and he quickly rose and pulled out his wallet, tossing two twenties on the table. “No, I’m done. I’ll take you.”

I wanted to argue but my mind was a jumble and before I knew it he was behind me, holding my coat out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” His warm breath brushed against my ear and shivers danced down my spine.

Dispelling the urge to lean into him, I pulled my hair out of the collar of my trench coat. “You didn’t. I’m fine.”

I clearly wasn’t.

I hated my past.

I hated my father.

I hated my mother for putting up with him.

I hated my sister for leaving me.

But I hated myself even more.

LOGAN

She was anything but fine.

Yet I wasn’t any good at consoling people. I didn’t know what to say or do. Besides, I was pretty certain she wasn’t looking for comfort. She was tough, and although I understood why, I also knew what she’d told me wasn’t the only reason. There was more to Elle than she let on. Hey, I got it. She had some demons she didn’t want to let out. And I certainly didn’t want to be the one to unleash them.

I raced in front of her, taking the lead. “Come on, let’s go.”

She nodded but didn’t say anything.

Didn’t I feel like a real shit.

Melancholy seemed to swallow me whole.

Fuck.

The rain was falling harder than it had been earlier and I watched as she put that red hat on again. It was soaking wet and I was certain it wasn’t helping to keep her dry, but she seemed to like it, so although I didn’t say a thing, the sight made me smirk.

Once we were outside, we both kept our heads down. She followed me through the alley and back toward Molly’s. I paused for a moment at the corner and looked around before reaching in my pocket and unlocking the SUV. The taillights of my black Range Rover blinked up ahead. I had unlocked the doors at a