Blood Promise Page 0,59

is ask for that bread. I practically had to make him his own loaf each time with the way he ate. The girls never ate that much."

"Guys always seem to eat more." Admittedly, I could keep up with most of them. "And he's bigger and taller than most."

"True," she mused. "But I eventually reached a point where I made him start making it himself. I told him if he was going to eat all my food, he'd best know how much work went into it."

I laughed. "I can't imagine Dimitri baking bread."

And yet, as soon as the words came out, I reconsidered. My immediate associations with Dimitri were always intense and fierce; it was his sexy, battle-god persona that came to mind. Yet, it had been Dimitri's gentleness and thoughtfulness mixed with that deadliness that made him so wonderful. The same hands that wielded stakes with such precision would carefully brush the hair out of my face. The eyes that could astutely spot any danger in the area would regard me wonderingly and worshipfully, like I was the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world.

I sighed, consumed by that bittersweet ache in my chest that had become so familiar now. What a stupid thing, getting worked up over a loaf of bread of all things. But that was how it was. I got emotional whenever I thought about Dimitri.

Olena's eyes were on me, sweet and compassionate. "I know," she said, guessing my thoughts. "I know exactly how you feel."

"Does it get easier?" I asked.

Unlike Sydney, Olena had an answer. "Yes. But you'll never be the same."

I didn't know whether to take comfort from those words or not. After I finished eating, she gave me a brief grocery list, and I set off toward downtown, happy to be outside and moving. Inactivity didn't suit me.

While in the grocery store, I was surprised to run into Mark. I'd gotten the impression he and Oksana didn't come to town that often. I wouldn't have put it past them to grow their own food and live off the land. He gave me a warm smile. "I wondered if you were still around."

"Yeah." I held up my basket. "Just doing some shopping for Olena."

"I'm glad you're still here," he said. "You seem more... at peace."

"Your ring is helping, I think. At least with the peace. It hasn't done much as far as any decision making goes."

He frowned, shifting the milk he held in one arm to the other. "What decisions?"

"What to do now. Where to go."

"Why not stay here?"

It was eerie, so similar to the conversation I'd had with Viktoria. And my response was equally similar. "I don't know what I'd do if I stayed here."

"Get a job. Live with the Belikovs. They love you, you know. You fit right in with their family."

That warm, loved feeling came back, and I again tried to imagine myself just settling down with them, working in a store like this or waiting tables.

"I don't know," I said. I was a broken record. "I just don't know if that's right for me."

"Better than the alternative," he warned. "Better than running off with no real purpose, throwing yourself in the face of danger. That's no choice at all."

And yet, it was the reason I'd come to Siberia in the first place. My inner voice scolded me. Dimitri, Rose. Have you forgotten Dimitri? Have you forgotten how you came here to free him, like he would have wanted? Or was that really what he would have wanted? Maybe he would have wanted me to stay safe. I just didn't know, and with no more help from Mason, my choices were even more muddled. Thinking of Mason suddenly reminded me of something I'd totally forgotten.

"When we talked before... well, we talked about what Lissa and Oksana could do. But what about you?"

Mark narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Have you ever... have you ever run into, um, ghosts?"

Several moments passed, and then he exhaled. "I'd hoped that wouldn't happen to you."

It astonished me then how much relief I felt to know I wasn't alone in my ghostly experiences. Even though I now understood that having died and been to the world of the dead made me a target for spirits, it was still one of the freakiest things about being shadow-kissed.

"Did it happen without you wanting it?" I asked.

"At first. Then I learned to control it."

"Me too." I suddenly recalled the barn. "Actually, that's not entirely true."

Lowering my voice further, I