when your voice is at its most empty, youre hiding something. You know you dont have to be jealous of Jason.
I am not jealous in the way you mean.
Then explain.
Nathaniel had gone very still beside me, listening.
You are not yet thirty and he is twenty-three. You are both so very young, ma petite. You will go away to his hometown and be very young together. It is something I cannot be with you. I cannot be young and nave and uncertain.
You wouldnt be you if you were any of those things. I love you the way you are, Jean-Claude.
Did I sound like I needed to hear that, ma petite?
Yes, I said.
He laughed again, and made me shiver down closer to Nathaniel. I find myself strangely conflicted. Jason is my pomme de sang, and is precious to me. That my human servant is taking care of him in such a caring way is a lovely thing. It will make other vampires think me a very kind master, but I know that you do it because you care for him. He is young and handsome and charming.
You cannot be insecure.
Why can I not be?
Because you are beautiful and amazing in bed, and I love you.
But Jason can be one thing for you that I cannot, ma petite.
Whats that?
Mortal. He can involve you in the youth of his life. He can offer you the mess of his family. He can show you where he grew up, introduce you to people who knew him as a child. All those to whom I can introduce you knew me as a vampire, never as a mortal.
I think this is your issue, Jean-Claude, not mine. Im not actually looking forward to traveling down memory lane with Jason and his abusive dad.
I feel that you mean that, but I find myself strangely envious. I had not missed my family in a very long time.
You sound homesick.
I suppose that is as good a word as any. He sounded sad.
Do you need us to come there tonight?
To what purpose? You would arrive not long before dawn, and you would leave before I awoke for the day.
I feel like you need a good-bye kiss, I guess.
Thank you for the sentiment, ma petite, but I will work on, how do you say, my issues. You, I think, will have your hands full working on Jasons.
What could I say to that? Yeah, I said.
Je taime, ma petite.
I love you, too, I said.
I guess in the end, what else is there to say?
Chapter 7
I HAD ONE other phone call to make before I flew off into the sunset with Jason. I dialed Micahs cell phone, because when he did the out-of-town trips it was the best way to get him.
Hey, he said, and that one word was full of affection, happiness, contentment.
Hey, yourself, I said, and my voice had the same tone. Id felt that way about Micah almost from the moment I met him. Weird, especially for me, the poster child for panic when I was attracted to a man. Wed learned only in the last few months that it had been the ardeur, my very own version of vampire powers, that had taken away my reluctance. In a way, Id rolled Micah and myself. But neither of us regretted it; maybe that was vampire powers, too.
I asked him how the trip was going. He told me he liked the new leopard, and so did his bodyguards, Mel and Noah. Good to know.
But you didnt call to ask about the new wereleopard, he said.
Couldnt I call just to chat?
He laughed, and I could picture his face. He was back to having his summer tan, which made him dark enough to pass for something other than Caucasian. But his features were entirely too Northern European, to really pass for anything else. His face was delicate, and so was he, at my height exactly. His eyes were chartreuse leopard eyes, from where a truly evil man had forced him into animal form long enough so his eyes never changed back. Id killed the evil man, and Micah had moved in. Wed been a couple ever since.
I told him the Readers Digest version of what was happening with Jason. Im sorry to hear about his father.
Me, too.
How did you get volunteered for this trip?
You dont think Id come up with it myself?
No, he said, and there was no doubt in his voice.
Nathaniel.
Hmm, he said.
You sound upset.
That youre going off with another man to meet his family?