Blood and Blade (Goddess with a Blade #6) - Lauren Dane Page 0,47

a Vampire though because Vampires just sort of poofed into dust and then nothingness when they were killed true dead. No bones left. But blood, well, that was another thing and the walls were vivid with it. A modernist splash of reds and oranges everywhere.

“There are wards here. But they’re standard.” Genevieve’s eyes seemed to blur as she began to unravel all the protections on all the nooks Thomas had hidden around the place.

Rowan avoided taking a deep breath as she made her way through the first floor. It was scarily quiet, not a living soul other than the three of them and Star. It didn’t feel disrespectful the way it sometimes did when she had to process a scene of great violence. She didn’t feel bad or guilty.

It was just another thing on her to do list. One item of dozens. Once it had been a dream that she’d see the last item crossed off and be free of it even for just a little while. Now she had accepted that her to do list would never be empty.

David came into the kitchen where she’d been poking through the cabinets. He handed over a file without a word.

Inside there were pictures of her and her various employees and people she worked with routinely. Pictures of Carey. Of Thena and David, of Susan and Rex and several others. There were codes to her old penthouse and a rough schedule of her daily life back in Las Vegas.

Her stomach cramped briefly as her blood ran cold. This Vampire who she’d met just a few weeks prior had looked her in the face while he’d also been responsible for the death of those she’d loved. He’d been in the room when she’d watched, helpless and grief stricken, as Carey had been assassinated on camera. At her wedding celebration.

So much rage and guilt flowed through her at the realization she had to excuse herself to go outside and into the beautifully maintained gardens. She needed the plants and the earth to soothe her before she took it out on anyone she was with. They didn’t deserve her anger or need for retribution. They were helping her while also being in danger simply because of their connection to her.

She’d been so fucking cocky! Focused on other things and had missed what had been right under her nose. People died because of that failure.

“Rowan?” Genevieve came out with Star. “Are you all right?”

She considered blowing it off but realized she wouldn’t have been able to carry it off and Genevieve would have known it.

She took a deep breath. “No. And I don’t know when I will be again. Maybe I never will be.”

Genevieve’s expression softened. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I blew them off. When I first met them both at Charles and Antonia’s house I underestimated them, barely even took notice. It’s my job to know what threats are out there and I just figured Thomas and Arthur were pretentious, spoiled Vampire shits who had daddy issues. All the while they were passing on information about me and mine to their compatriots who used that intel to breach my security and murder Carey. I should have seen it and I didn’t. This is all my fault.”

Genevieve said nothing for a few long moments until she sighed. “They were spoiled and pretentious Vampire shits with daddy issues. You didn’t miss that. You missed that these two from very powerful bloodlines would throw that away and get past complaining to do something about it. Most Vampires are all talk. That’s a fact you know very well. You went off what you know. You made a decision that would have been the right one in 99 out of 100 cases. You’re not perfect, but you’re very good at what you do. This isn’t your fault. Deep down you know that.”

Rowan shrugged. “It’s my mistake. I’m the one who made it. People depend on me and I missed something super important. I can’t explain that away.”

“Maybe not. But no one is asking you to. Because this is bigger than that moment with Thomas. It’s been going on longer than you’ve been with Clive. We’re seeing the outline of this problem and it’s big. And old. It has a lot of parts. If the gods wanted us to be perfect they should have made us so. But they have their own problems. Their own flaws and imperfections so it’s up to those of us with courage and skill