and manipulate them, bring up spirits and exorcise them, communicate with them and control them, talk to them and hear their talk.'
" 'Then I'm a witch,' I said, 'on account of Goblin.'
" 'Very much more than likely,' he said. 'Though I don't think you've experienced all the aspects I just explained.'
" 'No, I haven't. But I think that I could. And if Rebecca comes back, my powers of exorcism may be taxed.'
" 'I'll be here for you if you need me. I don't think Rebecca will tempt you anyplace but here.'
" 'Is that the way it is with ghosts?'
" 'Some of the time,' he said. 'It depends on the type of haunting. Sometimes a person is haunted, sometimes a place. Do you yourself know whether Goblin's a spirit or a ghost?'
" 'Oh, most surely a spirit,' I said. 'He knows nothing of where he came from or where he goes when he leaves me. There's no life for him except in my consciousness. He's probably with us right now.'
"I made an attempt to feel his presence, and I felt the answering grip of his hand on my shoulder and saw his face in the rearview mirror. He was very near me, of course.
" 'I love you, old buddy,' I said to him.
"I saw his poker face break into a childish grin.
" 'You don't know how much I've needed you, old buddy,' I said to Goblin. 'These last twenty-four hours have been mad.' It was marvelous seeing that grin.
"Stirling smiled.
"During the rest of our time alone Stirling told me about the Talamasca, pretty much reinforcing what Mona had explained to me -- that they had existed for centuries, that they had vast libraries pertaining to the supernatural, that they had a huge history of Mona's family -- confidential of course.
" 'Ah, but you see, I am a Mayfair,' I said, 'am I not? Oncle Julien told me I was, remember?'
" 'You have a good point there. But you don't have time for Mayfair history right now. You have your own adventures. You're going off on an odyssey. Have you made up your mind about little Tommy?'
" 'I'm totally for it. Can't wait to ask Aunt Queen. But I have a question for you,' I said. 'What is your honest opinion of Nash?'
" 'A wonderful man, brilliant, very well-read, very refined. He'll be a marvelous teacher and guide for you in Europe. Don't you think so yourself?'
" 'Yes, but I sensed something between you, that you didn't like each other. Was I wrong?'
" 'You were right to sense something,' he said. 'He doesn't like me. He suspects my motives. He doesn't understand the nature of the Talamasca, and not understanding our rules and our role he thinks me guilty of a brand of self-interest. When you come home, if you and I become friends as I hope we will, maybe he'll change his mind. For now, please don't trouble yourself about it. He's an extraordinarily nice man.'
" 'I know what you're talking about,' I said. 'He feels a lot of insecurity about being attracted to men. I don't really.'
" 'You don't?' he asked.
" 'I thought you could read minds,' I said. 'I hope that sounded agreeable. I meant it to sound agreeable. I've had an unusual life is what I ought to have said. I lost my virginity with Rebecca, then had fun in the shower with Goblin, then fell in love with Mona, and I'm not certain what's next. If Mona will marry me I'll be happy to my dying day.'
"He didn't answer me.
" 'What's wrong?' I asked. 'Do I sound too cavalier for your taste?'
" 'No, you don't at all,' he said. 'I was just thinking about Mona, and whether or not to say what came into my mind.'
" 'Oh, please do say it. I wish I could read it.'
" 'If you marry her, it's likely to be until her dying day before yours.'
" 'No,' I said. 'No. That's not true. That's not true. Dr. Rowan Mayfair knows that's not true. They're working on it night and day. They'll reverse Mona's condition. I mean they'll halt it. They'll fix it. It's not going to be that bad. She'll probably even --' I broke off. 'I'm sorry,' I said.
" 'You owe me no apology. I owe one to you. I shouldn't have said what I did. I thought last night you'd understood what they were talking about.'
" 'I didn't want to understand,' I said. 'But I knew.'