Blackstone Ranger Guardian - Alicia Montgomery Page 0,60

sharp curves. He really didn’t give a shit if he was going too fast. If he were a lesser man, he would have driven right off.

How the fuck had things turned tits up in five minutes? He’d gotten up early, fixed up her office to surprise her, and then she goes all crazy. Women. Who the hell knew what went on in their brains?

As he drove up the dirt road, the engine roared, and the truck’s tires skidded. Must have rained hard. He shifted the truck to all-wheel drive and then continued on until he reached his cabin. He stormed inside and shut the door with a thundering bang. Of course, the first thing that hit his nose in here was the scent of Dutchy and sex.

“Fuck!”

Turning on his heel, he headed out the door and sat on the porch steps, burying his face in his hands.

Her outrage at his invasion into her personal space he could handle. He read her wrong. But why did she go and turn it all around and ask about Kargan? Couldn’t she leave well enough alone? It was all in the past. He was over it. She didn’t need to know. He couldn’t let her know. The ache in his chest grew like a fucking tumor, squeezing around his lungs until he couldn’t breathe.

His bear roared in pain. It, too, felt her anger and rejection. Because that’s what this was, right? Her fox still refused him. And the mating bond would never happen if the vixen didn’t accept him. He didn’t know why he knew that; he just did.

“Krieger?”

His head snapped up so fast the blood rushing to his head made him dizzy. “Chief?” He’d been so caught up in his head that he didn’t even hear Damon approach him. His former commander wore only a pair of jeans, his shirt in one hand, which meant he’d come up here in bear form. “What are you doing here?”

He slipped his shirt on. “My bear hasn’t been in the best mood. Since the news about the cub … it … I mean, we’ve been feeling over protective, and Anna Victoria got sick of the whole thing. Said I was smothering her,” he said sheepishly. “So, she’s having dinner out with Sarah and Darcey tonight after they close up, and I thought I’d let my damned bear out to blow off some steam. Then I saw you were home”—he cocked his head at the truck—“and thought I’d say hello.” His dark brows furrowed together. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

Damon crossed his arms over his chest. “Your face and your bear say otherwise. Where’s Dutchy?”

He couldn’t stop the growl coming from his throat.

“Ah.” Damon stepped closer. “Mate troubles. Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

The chief sat down beside him. “When you guys disappeared the other night, I thought you’d worked things out. What happened since then?”

He wanted to tell Damon to fuck off and leave him alone so he could wallow in self-pity. But he knew better than to try and shake him off. Goddamn Damon was like a dog with a bone when he set his mind on something. Relentless. Unflagging. It was no wonder he’d risen up the ranks in the army so quickly.

“Fuck. I don’t know.” He raked his hand through his hair and relayed to him what had happened. “And … Goddammit, I don’t know why the hell she wants to know about that shit.” His stomach turned to ice just thinking about the two innocent lives he’d taken.

Damon didn’t say anything for a while, just sat quietly next to him. “Krieg,” he finally began. “Remember what I told you a couple months back? About asking forgiveness of ourselves?”

He closed his eyes. “Yeah. Of course I do.”

Sometimes … sometimes we have to ask forgiveness of ourselves.

“And have you?

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

Krieger huffed. “I know I wasn’t to blame for our guys getting killed. You said it yourself. And I understand, it was war. We had bad intelligence.”

“But what about after? Those two farmers from the village—”

“No!” he roared. “Stop.” They never talked about that.

“Krieger, it’s obvious that’s what’s been hurting you this whole time.”

“I’m better. I’ve changed. Why isn’t that enough?” Why am I not enough for her?

“You can’t just change overnight, Krieg. Even with me, it took a while. It took professional help, six months of therapy. And I’m still not one hundred percent. Recovery … it’s a process, not just a one-and-done thing. Maybe … maybe it’s time you let others handle the burden for you for