Blacklisted (Loveless, Texas #3) - Jay Crownover Page 0,79

pretty much gave me the same warning. How about we cross that bridge when we get to it? If I think I see a collision coming I’ll try to head it off at the pass, and if I can’t, I’m willing to accept the consequences.” He gave me a little wink, trying to lighten the mood. “Just like I’m willing to face your wrath for breaking into your place because I’m worried about you and can’t think straight.”

I sighed. He was trying to be sweet but was still missing the point. “But I’m going to have to deal with those consequences, too. Do you realize what it will do to me if I’m the one who hurts you or one of your members? How am I supposed to live with that? With the guilt and the loss?”

Didn’t he understand how hard that would be for me?

Shot bent his head and pressed his lips against mine. It was a hard kiss, a reassuring kiss. A kiss that meant business.

“We can worry about all the possibilities that we can’t control, or we can focus on the actualities we have complete say over. If all you do is worry about what might happen, instead of embracing the moment we’re actually in right now, you’re going to miss out on some pretty great experiences.”

Shot couldn’t know he’d pretty much laid out my biggest regret when it came to my childhood. All day, every day, I waited and watched, worrying about what was going to happen with my mother. My entire existence was built around what-ifs. What if she died today? What if I didn’t get to say goodbye? What if she’d never been sick in the first place? What if my life was different? What if I was different? Always wondering. Always waiting. And where had it gotten either of us?

Nowhere.

He kissed me again and I was appropriately distracted. It was so much better to get lost in him than it was to wander in the past where things couldn’t be changed.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted up on my toes to return the kiss. Within seconds my towel was on the ground and Shot had his hands all over my naked skin. I thought I would get used to how it felt to have his hands and mouth on my body. I honestly believed the electric spark that fired to life under my skin everywhere his fingertips trailed would fade away after a few intimate moments. Holy hell, was I wrong.

Every time he touched me, every time he made love to me, it was more intense, bigger, and better than the time before. Maybe it was because I was more comfortable with myself the more familiar we became with one another, but it was more likely that Shot was just that potent, just that skilled, that he had something new to bring to the table each and every time we got together.

There were very few flat surfaces in my apartment that had gone unused since Shot started being a regular visitor. It was by far the most intense and physical relationship I’d ever been in. It was highly flattering how he seemed unable to keep his hands off me, but the reverse was also true. He was hot. He was incredibly sexy. And for the first time in my life, I was actively invested in experiencing all that someone else had to offer and making that other person feel as good as they made me feel.

When Shot pulled away so we could breathe, he touched his forehead to mine and told me in a very quiet voice, “I’m sorry I overreacted when you didn’t answer your phone. Until Ashby is behind bars, I can’t promise I’ll behave rationally. I lose my mind a little when I think you might be in danger.”

It was actually kind of sweet, and I’d never had anyone who cared that much about me before, aside from my mother—and it wasn’t like she’d ever been in any kind of condition to rush to my rescue should I need it. Who would’ve ever thought I was going to end up with my very own hero…or rather, my very own antihero? Who would’ve ever believed I would need someone willing to save the day?

Not me.

I leaned forward so I could nuzzle the tip of my nose against his. Without question, he had so much more experience in all aspects than I did, but he always seemed to like