Blacklisted (Loveless, Texas #3) - Jay Crownover Page 0,19
was warning me what would happen if I got the job over her.”
I released the bag of puffs when Shot pulled the mangled mess from my hands. I didn’t even realize I’d crushed the contents and crinkled the bag between my hands. I looked down at my orangey fingers and wiped them absently on my jeans.
“My mother died shortly after I told Ashby that I was going to take the promotion.”
I’d said the same thing to the Texas Rangers, and the FBI who investigated the case, but for some reason telling Shot on the simple walk to my apartment was harder. Grief clogged my throat and I felt the burn of tears at the back of my eyes. My fingers quivered, so I curled them into fists at my sides.
“There were things about my mother suddenly passing that never made sense, but it wasn’t until it became clear that Ashby was trying to frame me for Conrad’s murder that I realized she more than likely had something to do with my mother’s death.”
It still made my stomach turn when I thought about just how cold and inhumane the person I considered myself closest to ended up being. I would never forget how gleeful and deranged she sounded when she explained she was not only responsible for Conrad’s murder, but also the one behind everything that happened leading up to it. She couldn’t wait to gloat, and she’d made sure I felt the weight of her actions, all while the Lawtons stood by and watched their childhood home burn to the ground. It was just one more catastrophe she was responsible for. I wondered what it said about me that I became friends with Ashby in the first place. I hated that I’d been too blind to see who she really was and ultimately lost so much because of my own ignorance.
Clearing my throat so I didn’t break down in front of Shot, I changed the subject and concentrated on moving forward instead of getting stuck in grief and regret. Each step I took was heavy, but I somehow managed to keep pace with the tall man moving next to me.
“In the middle of dealing with my career crashing and burning and losing my mother, I learned who my father was and that I had several half siblings, all with their own ideas about how I should be handling things now.”
I lifted my hands and let them fall dramatically to indicate how overwhelming it felt to suddenly be caught up in all of the Lawtons’ concern and care. I appreciated them, but I also felt helpless to give them what they wanted.
“Case still wants me in protective custody, but it’s been months and Ashby is still on the loose, and I can’t just be under lock and key for my whole life. Kody acts like she wants to be my human shield, which is super sweet, but I don’t want anything to happen to her if Ashby decides she’s not done taking away the things that matter most to me. I know their intentions are good, but it’s overwhelming. And Crew, well, he’s honestly the only one of the Lawtons who still treats me like he’s not sure if I’m friend or foe. I honestly appreciate his caution. His reaction makes the most sense to me. He’s supposed to be planning a wedding, not burying his father and learning how to deal with a new sister.”
Shot blew out another low whistle. “That’s some story.”
I nodded silently in agreement, feeling like a balloon that had lost all its air. It was the first time I’d laid all the heartbreaking details out for someone who wasn’t in law enforcement. It was the first time I’d let the exhaustion, fear, and frustration slip through instead of simply reiterating the facts. I tried my best to handle everything stoically, but inside I was anything but. I was feeling everything all at once and had no idea how to get a handle on so much emotion. Being honest with Shot about how hard it had been on me lately was as close as I’d come to some kind of catharsis since this whole thing began. I couldn’t put my finger on why he was so easy to talk to or why I hadn’t glossed things over the way I did with everyone else, but I was glad he let me get rid of some of the emotional weight I’d been carrying. He didn’t seem to be