Black Jack (Advantage Play #5) - Kelsie Rae Page 0,53

a girl like me. A girl who has spent the last decade selling her body for money. Because with Jack, my brain doesn’t disconnect and my heart doesn’t, either.

“Tell me,” he repeats on a breath.

My tongue darts between my lips before I squeeze my eyes shut and admit the truth to both of us. “You’re more than good dick, Jack.”

He swallows my confession with a kiss that makes me dizzy. His tongue drags along the seam of my mouth, tasting me before I open up to him and return the motion. This time, we aren’t dueling for power. We’re introducing our souls to each other, peeling back the armor we’d both built around our hearts while praying we won’t both end up broken by the end of this.

Which is selfish of me. So damn selfish. Because I know the truth. We’ll both be broken when he finds out who I really am and what I really did for years to keep my family––the family I hate––out of debt.

I wish I could erase my past, but I can’t. Just like how I can’t erase my feelings for the man on top of me as he slowly peels away our clothes before entering me with a gentle thrust that makes me gasp.

My husband.

My guilty pleasure.

The one who will finally manage to break me.

But I’m too weak, too selfish, to prevent it.

22

Bianca

“Hey,” a deep voice rumbles from the bed.

I glance over my shoulder and smile. “Hey.”

“What time is it?”

Picking up my phone from the vanity counter, I check the time. “It’s 5:34.”

“In the morning?” Jack grumbles.

I laugh. “Yeah.”

“Why are you up so early?”

“I’m always up this early. I gotta go work off those beers and the popcorn from last night.”

“You could always work off those extra calories with me.” He pats the bed while his eyebrows bounce up and down.

With another breath of laughter, I shake my head and watch his muscles bunch and flex as he pushes himself up from the mattress before padding over to me.

“You’re ridiculous,” I tell him.

“Says the girl slapping on makeup before heading to the gym.”

“I never slap on makeup,” I correct him.

“You know what I mean, Bianca,” he returns, gently.

Our gazes connect through the mirror. His is filled with a concern that sits like a brick in my lower stomach. Like I’m disappointing him somehow.

“Don’t look at me like that, Jack,” I beg him.

“How can I prove it to you, Bianca? That you’re gorgeous? That you don’t need to be someone you’re not. That you don’t need to pretend anymore.”

I’ll always have to pretend, I want to tell him. But I swallow back the truth along with the tears that threaten to fall.

“Tell me,” he demands.

I shrug one shoulder. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Then let me help you break them.”

“I can’t,” I whisper while twisting the cap on the concealer.

“Why?”

“I just…I’m not ready, I guess.”

The silence acts like a knife as he holds my gaze through the reflection before bending at the waist to press a soft kiss to my cheek. The warmth from his lips brands me in a way that leaves me desperate and out of control, but I don’t pull away.

“Okay,” he murmurs against my skin. “I won’t push it. Just know that I think you’re beautiful with or without makeup.” Then he stands to his full height and picks up the dirty teddy bear resting beside my mom’s picture frame. It has patchy, dark brown fur and a cream-colored belly that’s stained with purple grape juice. A small part of me wants to snatch it from his grasp, but I resist the urge as I take in the fascination painted across his face.

Examining it from every angle, he cocks his head to one side. “So, what’s this?”

“It’s a stuffed animal.”

He snorts before tossing a quick look my way. “Yeah. Figured that one out.” Then he turns back to the bear and drags his finger down the bridge of its nose. “Tell me about it. Why have you kept it? We’ve already discussed that you’re more sentimental than you’d like to admit. What makes this bear special? Does it have a name?”

“Hersey.”

“Hersey?”

“Mmhmm. That’s his name.” I lift my chin to my only childhood friend in Jack’s grasp. “When my mom died, my brother gave him to me.”

“Dominic?”

My lips purse, and my mouth fills with acid. For some reason, it’s different when someone else says his name than when I do. It’s a stark reminder that he’s not my protective older brother anymore.