Bitter Queen (Advantage Play #4) - Kelsie Rae Page 0,12
I poisoned your food?”
“No.”
“Then why didn’t you eat it?” I push.
“I thought you might’ve drugged it.”
My brows almost reach my hairline. “Drugged it?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Did Sei drug you?” I demand.
With another jerky nod, she drops her gaze to her lap.
“Why would he drug you if you were already kidnapped? What’s the point?” I wonder aloud.
Her dry laugh is haunting as she answers, “To see my face when I woke up in my own blood the first time.”
Nauseated, I drop the subject, positive that if I hear another word, I’ll find a way to get Sei out of prison just so I can gut him the way he deserves. Keeping my expression indifferent, I announce, “The housekeeper dropped off a bag of clothes that should fit you. Get dressed in something comfortable and come downstairs.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re going to teach you how to defend yourself.”
She rolls her eyes, giving me a glimpse of the sassy woman she was before she was kidnapped.
“That won’t be necessary,” she deflects.
“Why not?”
“Because no matter how much you kick, scream, bite, and scratch, they always win. Always. Trust me. I’ve been there.”
My astonishment is palpable as I stare at the broken girl in front of me. The one that accepts her shitty past, practically embracing it to become her future. And it pisses me off.
“Were you always this weak?” I snap.
Her jaw drops. “Excuse me?”
“I want to know.”
“How dare you—”
“No. How dare you,” I spit, my frustration boiling over. “Fuck Sei. Fuck what he did to you. And fuck all those memories that haunt you at night. But the sick bastard doesn’t have to win. That’s still within your power. Even if he held you down and raped you right here on this floor, he couldn’t take your strength and your fight unless you gave it to him. Unless you let him win. That choice is still up to you.”
“Screw you, D. You don’t know what I’ve been through—”
“You’re right. I don’t. And even the little glimpses you’ve given me have gutted me, Q. But the second I try to give you back an ounce of the power he stole from you, you push it away. Like it wouldn’t have made a difference. Like you’ve already given in. Hell, you won’t even look in the mirror, you’re so ashamed.”
“Can you blame me? He used me. Tortured me. Chewed me up, then spit me out.” Her voice cracks as she clutches at the pillow tucked against her chest, desperate to end this conversation. But I refuse to let her off that easily.
“Don’t you hear yourself?” I growl. “He did those things. Sei. Not you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Bullshit,” she starts, her face red with anger and shame.
“Stop,” I order her. “Stop blaming yourself.”
Her pain is suffocating as she drops her head back to the headboard behind her and cries, “How can I? If what you’re saying is true, then I let it happen. I didn’t fight hard enough.”
“Screw that. You endured something, Q. Something no one should ever have to endure. But I need you to understand that he didn’t just break your body. He broke your mind. Your willpower. Everything. And I can’t sit by and watch that happen. I can’t let your bitterness consume you until there’s nothing left. It’s your choice to fight for your future. To get it back. To not let him win. Despite his best efforts, he doesn’t own you. I just need you to believe that too.”
“And if I can’t?” she challenges.
“Then you’re letting the bastard win.” Storming out of her bedroom, I slam the door behind me then rush down the stairs to Matteo’s gym on the first floor.
But it does nothing to douse the rage licking at my soul.
6
Q
The bed is soft and doesn’t smell like urine. It’s the main piece of evidence I have that I’m not in that dank basement anymore, and I cling to it like my life depends on it. Rolling onto my side, I breathe deep and let the scent of freshly-washed sheets ground me. I’ve been here for a little while now, but the clean smell never gets old.
I haven’t talked to D since breakfast, but that hasn’t stopped his words from playing on a constant loop in my mind. I’m still pissed at him. For the things he said. For the crap he knows nothing about. And for making me question my own decisions and how the hell I’m supposed to move forward.