A Bird in the Oven - Kata Cuic Page 0,37
when we decided to do this…thing.”
He blinks at me, obviously confused by my lack of verbal clarity. “I did not say that I do not wish to have sex with you going forward. I said I do not wish to cause you pain going forward. I underestimated my ability to remain in control in your presence. I believed I would make you sore out of necessity for the frequency with which I planned to inseminate you for the sake of conception. I did not expect that I would transform into a greedy monster, incapable of rational thought and controlled by carnal desires.”
I laugh a little at the imagined idea of Ollie as a greedy monster. Tears continue to spill down my cheeks though. I was so happy when he admitted I make him lose control, but again…I misunderstood the intrinsic value of his words. Instead of requesting clarity, I assumed things which aren’t true.
Ollie’s expression turns soft. His deep brown eyes fill with worry. He grabs a fluffy bath towel off the rack and unfolds it, holding it toward me. “Come out now. The water is clearly causing you more pain. I cannot bear to see you cry.”
I sniffle, laugh a little more, and swipe my wet arm across my face which obviously does nothing to lessen the dampness there. “I cried to you every time I went through a break up! You didn’t seem to mind being my comforting pillow then!”
“I minded very much. After you were adequately filled with ice cream or chocolate or wine and sleeping in my bed, I hacked their accounts and signed them up for ridiculous things like cheese of the month clubs or swing dance lessons or social media groups about knitting.” He frowns. “In hindsight, it was not very good revenge. Some of them enjoyed paying for the clubs they did not order for themselves.”
“Ollie!” Shock grips me. I had no idea he’d ever done anything like that. I had no idea he could be so…devious. “That’s wrong! You can’t hack people’s bank accounts!”
He continues holding the towel in the air. “I am quite capable of hacking people’s bank accounts. It was wrong of them to treat you so poorly and yet they did. They were stupid to let you go and even less intelligent to make their passwords so easy to crack.”
I can’t help it. I have no way of controlling myself. Maybe I’m breaking under all this stress, but I laugh my ass off. I laugh so hard and so loud that it actually hurts my stomach as much as it likely hurts Ollie’s ears.
His face puckers. “I am confused. Is the bath easing your pain or increasing it?”
With more than a little effort, I pull myself together. “The bath is doing wonders to ease my pain, actually. It’s very nice. Do you need me to get out for some reason?”
“No.” He finally drops his arms but still clutches the towel. “May I…join you?”
I’m shocked now for an entirely different reason. “You don’t like baths. You always tell me it’s like sitting in your own dirt water.”
He nods, his brow pulled low. He chews on the inside of his lip, which I haven’t seen him do since high school. “I am also sore. If it truly does ease the pain, I would like to try it.”
Fortunately, we’re blessed with extra-large tubs in our condos. If this was a standard size, there’s no way Ollie’s big body would fit in here with me. I scoot to the middle of the water. “This is your house. You can do whatever your heart desires.”
“My heart desires to be close to you,” he murmurs, his eyes downcast.
“Ollie.” His name is a breath on my lips, a pitter-patter rhythm of my heart.
I watch carefully as he undresses, slowly revealing his sculpted body to my hungry gaze. He doesn’t often go shirtless, so for years, I could only guess at the magnificence hidden from sight. I would get a peek here or there—randomly catching him headed to shower after his weight lifting self-torture in his basement or be gifted with a glimpse of chiseled abs when his shirt would ride up on the rare occasions I’d use him for my personal pillow. I’ve felt the strength of his arms and the hardness of his chest. Listened to the cries of pleasure he created for someone else through our shared bedroom wall as jealousy sliced my heart into itty bitty pieces.
Until he revealed himself to me last