The Billionaire's Princess - Ava Ryan Page 0,55

river. We’ll try again. God knows we didn’t get this far by giving up.

But…

It’s all tied together in my mind. Me. The deal. The money.

Carly.

Deserving Carly. Being worthy of Carly.

Self-destructive thoughts creep into my head. Those fuckers always show up at the worst possible time.

Good old Percy’s got ancient family money, doesn’t he, man?

He’s not a fucking loser like you are, is he?

I catch myself. Rub my head again and try to snap out of it.

Carly will be here soon. I don’t want her to see me like this. Not on her birthday, of all days.

I think about how hard she’s worked to get her online store up and running in the last several months. The hours she’s spent in the studio. The meetings with web designers, photographers and framers. Have I helped here and there? Yeah, sure. I provide support. Guidance. But that’s about it. Carly has put herself into this project, heart and soul. When it takes off and becomes a huge success, as I know it will, it will be entirely because of her own efforts.

I can’t get over how hard she works. I can’t believe how proud I am of her.

I think about her launch party tomorrow. She’ll be the star of her own show on her own merits, something she deserves.

Meanwhile, I’m such a gem that I wasted months of my time trying to get this worthless deal together.

Yeah, sure, man. You’re exactly the type of guy Carly deserves.

Fucking loser.

“Well, anyway, I’ll call you when I get back,” my brother says.

“Yep.”

Something in my voice tips him off, which is one of those annoying things about brothers. They hear shit you’d rather keep hidden.

“What gives? Do I need to put you on suicide watch?” he says.

“Couple things on my mind. That’s all.”

“It’s not Carly, is it?” he asks sharply. “Don’t go messing that up. She’s good for you.”

Good for me.

I stifle a snort. Good for me doesn’t exactly cut it in terms of showing the whole picture. Oxygen is good for me too, but you need to slide it over into the essential category.

I start thinking again because, hey, why not? I’m already tied up in knots, right? How much worse could it get?

I think about how much my life has changed since she walked into it. On Carly’s watch? I laugh. I relax. I unwind. I still work, like always, but I also live. I smile when she shows up. I go to sleep smiling. I wake up smiling. The loss of this deal has just kicked me and my brothers in the teeth, but Carly will be here soon, and I will smile again. As long as she’s around? I have an endless supply of smiles.

A glance around illustrates her presence in a dozen different ways here in this contemporary cavern I call home.

The fluffy blue cashmere throw that showed up one day because she said all the black leather was too cold. The matching throw pillows. The plants. The hardcover mysteries now stacked on the coffee table. The electric glass teakettle in the kitchen with its blue light as the water boils. The tea and biscuit tins. Her running shoes lined up next to mine in the foyer closet.

Her slinky nightgown under my pillows.

Her mysterious lotions, hair products and makeup in the bathroom.

Her eyes. Her laugh.

Funny to see all the ways she’s warmed this place up and remember how I thought she was an ice princess when I first met her. Unbelievable, actually.

Have I fucked it up and caused her to walk out on me yet? Not yet. But I’m sure I will.

“It’s her birthday today.” I eyeball the bucket of champagne I have icing on the counter next to a massive bouquet of flowers for the birthday girl. “I’m taking her to dinner when she gets home from the studio in a minute.”

“Good. Don’t do too much navel gazing. I know how you get this time of year. You get yourself into a funk over Christmas and start thinking about Mom—”

The mention of the M-word makes me edgier. The very last thing I need is to discuss her with Ryker at this unsettled moment. I don’t need some deep analysis, especially from my younger brother. Fortunately, the jingle of keys and sound of the door opening give me the excuse I need to head this off at the pass.

“Here’s Carly now,” I say, standing just as she peeks around the corner and beams at the sight of me. “I’ll get back to