The Billionaire's Practice Kiss - Tamie Dearen Page 0,77
heart.
As miserable as Ellery was, it had to be worse for Logan. He was so tenderhearted. He was probably determined to keep up the pretense of feelings until he was certain Ellery had fully recovered. She was beginning to realize it might be best if she were the one to end the relationship. She could only pray she would have the strength to do it, without falling apart.
When Jake and Salena left them alone in the room, Logan stayed standing at her bedside, staring out the window, hands stuffed in his pockets. His body language told Ellery everything she needed to know. Now was the time to make the break.
As she used the bed controls to sit straight and lift up as high as possible, almost to eye level, Logan’s gaze remained fixed on something outside.
Ellery swallowed a few more ice chips and took a slow breath. “Logan, I’m going to make this easy on you.”
His smoky gray eyes flitted to hers, wide with alarm. “What do you mean?”
“I want you to know I appreciate all you’ve done—watching out for me, staying with me round-the-clock. I think you’ve done more than enough, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to me anymore.”
“Obligated?”
“Yes. You have to recognize none of this was your fault.”
“Of course it was my fault—” he began.
“No it wasn’t!” she said. “No more than it was my dad’s fault he chose to drive our family down that particular highway the night of the wreck.”
Logan’s nostrils flared, but he couldn’t argue with the logic of her personal tragedy.
“So like I said, none of this was your fault, yet you’ve been sweet and supportive.” She fought her clenching chest to take a breath. “But I’m well now, so I don’t need you anymore.”
“You don’t need me?” His brow furrowed. “Or you don’t want me?”
What could she say and still be truthful?
“I want love, Logan… real love.” With her fists so tight her fingernails bit into her palms, she kept her tears at bay. “And we don’t have it.”
“Are you saying you don’t love me anymore?”
She was surprised to hear hurt in his voice rather than relief. Didn’t he realize she was giving him an out?
“Logan, you’re an amazing guy. And someday you’re going to find the right woman, and you’ll both love each other. You’ll have it all—love, marriage, a picket fence, two-point-five kids. But it has to be the right woman.”
Saying the words made her chest ache, and not because of her inflamed air passages.
“But you’re not the right woman?” Logan asked.
She shook her head, so close to tears she didn’t dare speak.
“Because you don’t love me?” His voice cracked with pain. Either she hadn’t done a good job alleviating his guilt, or his ego was crushed. But she’d used up every last bit of her energy to hide her emotions. If she didn’t get him out of the room fast, he was going to see her fall apart.
“I think you should go now,” she rasped, squeezing her eyes shut.
“Can I kiss you?”
She sucked in a surprised breath, wincing at the rawness. Shock at his suggestion overrode her grief, at least temporarily.
“Kiss me?” she squeaked.
“I’m thinking if I’m going to have to find a new woman and ask her out and the whole nine yards, I probably need to practice kissing.”
Was he really that insecure, after all this time?
“Logan, you’ve had more than enough practice. You aren’t awkward anymore.”
“I’m the most awkward man on the planet.” He shook his head. “I’m so awkward I can’t even protect the woman I love without hurting her.”
“The woman you love?”
Stupid hope flickered to life again, refusing to die a dignified death.
“The woman I love more than life.” His fingers brushed sparks from the corner of her mouth across the puckered scar on her cheek, meandering into her hair and tangling on the back of her head. He leaned in, his pupils dilating in his steel gray orbs. He paused, his lips inches away, his intense gaze glued to hers. “May I?”
She tore her eyes away, turning her face. “I can’t do it, Logan. I know you have good intentions, but I need…” How could she explain it? He could never understand how her soul longed for security.
“You need someone who’ll be there through thick and thin.” He hadn’t moved an inch. So close she could smell his aftershave and the fresh mint of his breath, he caught her gaze again. “I get it now. I’m right here, and I’m not going