porch. The sign on the front says it's still for sale, so I guess no one has lived in it since I last did.
I walk up to the front door. It's locked, of course. I peek through the window. All I see are pieces of furniture covered in white cloth, which in turn is covered in dust. Even hidden, I can recognize some of them, and I smile.
I go around the house to the backyard. I see the patch of soil where my mother's garden used to be. Only weeds grow in it now. I also see her box of gardening tools right next to Arthur's old doghouse. I remember we buried his ashes under it.
I remember something else buried in the backyard, too - an old pink music box which my parents gave me. I cried when it broke but I continued to treasure it. Then one day, I just outgrew it. My mother suggested that I throw it away, but I decided to bury it instead, like a time capsule. I remember I put some other things in it, too.
Why did I forget about it until now?
I dig it up using my mom's old tools, thinking maybe it will help me rediscover who I am or give me some clue about what I should do next. The task takes me half an hour and tires me out, but all my exhaustion vanishes when I see the box. It's dirty but still intact.
I decide to bring it with me to the hotel to go through its contents there. After all, it looks like it's going to rain soon. I start to cover the hole, but an idea occurs to me.
There's something else I want to bury. My past.
Of course I can't do that literally, but I can bury my journal, and I realize I want to. I don't think I can write in it anymore anyway, not after knowing all the trouble it's caused.
I press it to my chest one last time and then place it in the hole. I cover it with soil. I've just finished when it starts to rain.
I savor the shower of rain for a moment, just because I've missed it, but when it starts to turn into a downpour, I run to the front of the house. I take shelter on the porch and walk over to the old rocking chair so I can sit in it while I wait for the rain to stop.
At least, that's my plan. But after taking another step, I suddenly feel dizzy. I hold on to the railing to keep myself from falling, but my knees are too weak. I find myself sinking to the floor anyway.
As my eyes close, I listen to the sound of the rain. It reminds me of the time I shared an umbrella with Ethan in Zurich.
Strange. In spite of everything, I still miss him.
I wonder what he's doing now.
Chapter Twenty
Ethan
"What are you doing?" Asher asks as he barges into my office.
I don't answer because I'm busy emptying the Scotch in my glass down my throat.
Asher grabs the bottle from my desk. "Everyone is on the sixth floor, celebrating the fact that the Odermatt acquisition is final and official, and here you are sulking."
I set my glass down.
"Who's to say I'm not celebrating?"
Asher looks at the empty glass disapprovingly. "Since when do you drink in your office?"
"Like I said, I'm celebrating. Now give me back that bottle."
Asher doesn't. Instead, he puts it down on the coffee table, the same one where I put down the brown envelope containing that baby contract when I last spoke to Stella. The same one where I tore it to pieces after she left.
I frown.
"You're celebrating by yourself?" Asher asks me.
"Why not?" I pick up my glass and get out from behind my desk. "I'm the one who got Odermatt to sign, aren't I?"