"I already said I don't like the whole contract," Stella tells me.
"And I'm still trying to understand why."
She looks away and falls silent. Why? Why won't she help me understand? What is it she's not telling me?
"Is it because I'm your boss?" I ask her. "Because you take your work seriously and you don't want to mix your personal life with your career? If that's the case, you can quit your job."
"So no one will know you got your assistant pregnant?"
"No one will," I promise her. "I'll make sure no one bothers you and my child. Our child."
Still, Stella doesn't look convinced. "I don't want to quit my job."
I narrow my eyes at her. "But didn't you say you wanted to be a mother more than anything?"
"I don't remember saying that."
"You wrote it down in your journal. You said you wanted your own child. You said..."
I stop as I realize what I've just said - something I shouldn't have. I regret it the moment I see the look of dismay on Stella's face.
Fuck.
She stands up. "You read my journal? How? When?"
I sigh. No use lying about it now.
"You left it on your desk that night when you came back to the office after work," I tell her.
"And you just read it? How could you?"
I don't have any excuse for that behavior so I say nothing.
"Wait. So you read my journal?" Stella starts to pace the floor. "Is that why you suddenly started acting like you cared about me? Is that why you suddenly decided to bring me along to Switzerland? Because you knew I wanted to travel?"
"That's not why."
But she's not listening.
"Is that why you had that chef make those dumplings for me, knowing my mother used to make them? Is that why you knew I didn't have any friends?" She gasps. "Is that why you used that blindfold on me and fucked me in front of the mirror? I wrote about that, didn't I?"
I don't answer.
She narrows her eyes at me. "Is that why you had sex with me? Because you knew I was a virgin and felt sorry for me? Because you knew I would like it?"
"That's not why," I tell her again.
Maybe what I read in the journal played a role, but I didn't have sex with her just because of that.
"Then why?" Stella asks me. "Why did you kiss me? Why did you teach me all about pleasure?"
Her eyes brim with tears as she looks into mine. Her lips quiver.
"Why did you make me fall in love with you?"
My eyebrows arch. What?
I didn't see that coming. I never even thought of it. And I definitely don't know how to respond to it.
"I..."
I try to put words together but fail. My emotions are too jumbled for me to make sense of them. For once in my life, I'm clueless about what I'm supposed to say or do.
"Forget it," Stella says. "Forget about all of it."
She walks to the door but stops.
"Just so we're clear, I'm not signing that contract."
She takes another step.
"Also, I'm quitting. I'll send my resignation letter to HR tomorrow."
I say nothing.
Stella opens the door and leaves. A part of me wants to run after her, but even if I do, what will I say? I still don't know.
I scratch the back of my head.
She's thrown me a real curve ball. Then again, she's always had a way of surprising me in the most unexpected ways.
And now, she's gone.
Chapter Nineteen
Stella
I can't stay here.
I fight off a fresh wave of tears as I stuff my clothes inside my suitcase, the same one I just unpacked a week ago.
I had a feeling Ethan wouldn't be happy with my decision not to sign that stupid contract, but I didn't think he was going to be such a jerk about it.
It's selfish enough that all he sees me as is a baby maker. Then he goes on and says that the contract is in my best interest, that he's going to keep everything a secret for my sake when he's the one with a reputation to uphold. How dare he say I deserve to be happy while making sure I won't be?
Then I find out he read my journal. He fucking read my journal, my most private possession.
Don't they teach you in third grade not to go through other people's things?
Yes, I was careless to leave it there. Yes, he owns the desk I left it on. Even so, he didn't have to read it. But