I look into his eyes and draw a deep breath. Here goes.
"Isn't that what I am?"
Isn't that all I am? Please tell me no.
"You're not just my assistant, though," Ethan says.
I'm not?
"You're an asset to me. Apart from my brothers, you're the most valuable employee I have. You understand me better than anyone. You support me more than anyone."
So I'm just an employee. Just as important as his brothers. Maybe less. My heart starts to sink.
"I'm just doing my job," I tell him.
"Which you do so well," Ethan says. "So well you deserve this."
He tries to put it on my wrist. I pull my hand away.
"No."
Again, he gives me a puzzled look.
"It's a gift, Stella. It's my way of thanking you for proving invaluable to me during this trip."
"Because I had sex with you?"
He pauses. "Not just because of that."
I don't think I'm getting my message across to him, so I decide to blunt.
"Is that all I am to you? An assistant that you can count on for sex?"
"And a friend," he answers.
Just a friend? My heart shatters.
Well, there you have it.
"I don't understand why you seem upset," Ethan says. "If you don't like the watch - "
"I don't like the sex," I cut him off. "I mean, I don't want us to have sex anymore."
His eyebrows arch. I stand up.
"Tonight was the last time," I tell him with a voice that I try to keep from quivering. "When we get back to Chicago, I'll just be your assistant. And your friend. We'll carry on as before. We'll pretend we never had sex, and we never will again."
"Never?"
I swallow and try to keep a straight face. "Not even when we go out of town or out of the country."
Ethan's eyebrows drop. His expression turns serious as he falls silent.
Is he upset? Why doesn't he try to change my mind, then? Why won't he say anything.
"Do you understand?" I ask him.
"Yes," Ethan answers. "I understand perfectly."
No, he doesn't. He has no clue I'm breaking into pieces right now. And it's better to leave it that way.
He doesn't really care about me anyway. Not in the way I care for him.
"Good."
I walk to the bathroom to change back into my clothes. I see them on the floor right next to Ethan's and my chest tightens.
I guess this really was the last time.
I try not to think of that. I try to fight the tears stinging the back of my eyes as I put my clothes on. If only I could pick up the shards of my broken heart as easily and put them back inside the gaping hole in my chest.
I can't find my hair tie so I just leave it. I comb my hair as best I can with my fingers. I hang the robe I used on the peg by the door. Then I walk out.
All I need are my shoes and my purse and then...
I stop in my tracks as I see Ryker in the room. I didn't hear him come in, so my eyes grow wide in surprise. His narrow as he stops talking to Ethan.
Shit.
"Good evening," I croak.
"Good evening, Stella," he says without a smile.
He's not going to scold me in front of Ethan, is he?
"Stella," Ethan says. "You won't believe what Ryker just told me. The missing employee has been found."
I let out the breath I've been holding. "Really?"
"Yes. And it doesn't seem like he's sold the files to anyone. Of course, I'll have to make sure of that myself." He turns to his brother. "Just give me a second to change, Ryker, and I'll be with you."
He walks past me on his way to the bathroom. I turn.
"Do you need me to come with you... sir?"
He stops but doesn't turn or even glance at me. "No need."
The coldness in his voice feels like an icicle being dropped on top of me.
Is he mad at me? Well, I did reject the expensive watch he bought for me.
So long as he acts normal when we get back to Chicago, it will be fine.
"Understood."
He disappears into the bathroom. I try to ignore Ryker's presence - and his disapproving glare - as I put on my shoes and pick up my purse. Then I make my way to the door.
"Stella," Ryker speaks just before I reach it.
I draw a deep breath and glance over my shoulder.
"Don't worry. I did what I'm supposed to do. I'm not that stupid... sir."