appears, he has some serious doubts about himself. Which I find stupid, really. How can he not believe in himself when he's so perfect?
"Yes, you do," I tell him. "And for what it's worth, I think you'll make a great father, the kind any child would feel lucky and proud to have."
Ethan's eyes widen slightly. For a moment, he says nothing. Then his lips curve into a smile. Like earlier, I see it illuminate his dark eyes.
"I think you'll make a great mother, too."
The compliment sets not just my cheeks but my chest on fire. Now, I'm the one speechless.
I know what I want to say - that I wish I could be the mother of his children, that we could make a great parenting team. But I don't.
"Thank you," I say simply.
"You're welcome." He glances at the girls again. "Do you want to go to Bear Park after this? I think it's just nearby."
I put on a smile. "Sure."
~
After we go to the Bear Park, we take tours of the Kunstmuseum, the Paul Klee Center and the Bundeshaus. Then we head back to Zurich. I fall asleep in the car. When we arrive at the hotel, the sky is already dark.
My last day in Switzerland is coming to an end, which means I'm running out of time.
I have to speak to Ethan about what's going on with us - and more importantly, what's going to happen to us when we get back to Chicago.
I have to.
That's why I enter his room after making sure no one has seen me.
It's clean now. The Scotch bottle and the glass are gone. The plate that the sandwiches were on, too. Housekeeping must have taken care of them.
Even the couch looks clean, but I don't sit on it. I don't want to stand near the bed where Ethan's sitting, either. Or go to the balcony.
Where do I go?
"What's wrong?" Ethan asks as he takes off his shoes.
I swallow the lump in my throat and part my lips. Still, no words come out. The voice inside my head starts to shout.
Go on, Stella! You're out of time. Just ask him how he feels. Or just tell him what you want. Tell him something!
I draw a deep breath. "Do you...?"
I pause because I still lack courage. Ethan's eyebrows furrow as he waits for me to continue.
"Do you want me to ask if there are any updates from Odermatt Corp.?" I ask.
If the voice in my head belonged to a person, she would be slapping her forehead in exasperation right now. I feel like doing the same.
What is wrong with me?
"You mean if that employee has been found?" Ethan stands up and walks towards me. "Trust me. If that was the case, I would have already known."
True. He'd be the first to know.
"What, then?" I ask him. "Are you just going to give up? Are you - ?"
Ethan's lips cut off the rest of my question. Then he pulls away and looks into my eyes.
"Not yet," he says, his tone as serious as his gaze. "I don't want to think about that yet."
Of course not. He must be tired from all that sightseeing.
"I'm so - "
"You know what I want right now?"
He tucks the loose strands of my hair behind my ear and parks his hand beneath my jaw. He moves his thumb and it brushes against my lips. Heat stirs beneath my skin.
Under the spell of Ethan's intense gaze, my lips part. I try to capture his thumb, but he drops his hand and steps back.
"I want to take a shower right now," he says as he starts to remove his belt.
Of course he does.
He throws his belt on the bed and starts walking towards the bathroom. Then he stops and turns. His narrowed eyes meet mine as he extends his hand.
"Would you like to join me?"
My eyes grow wide. Ethan wants me... to take a shower with him?
The voice in my head adamantly tells me to say no, but I can hear another voice whispering in the background.
Go on. This could be your last chance to be with Ethan.
True. If he doesn't have any feelings for me - and I promise I'll ask him before I leave this room - I'll have to end things with him. We'll go back to just being boss and employee. I'll never get to have sex with the man I love again. The only man I've loved in my life so far.