seven years, there’s rarely a day that I don’t miss him. I miss my pendant that he got for me, but I know it was just a talisman to remind me that I was strong enough to make it on my own. Really, I’m always going to carry Mac right here.” I laid my hand gently on my chest.
We were silent for several minutes before Hudson asked, “Why don’t you wear glasses anymore?”
“Mac introduced me to contact lenses when I was old enough, and he started a special account for me to get laser surgery when I was old enough. I didn’t touch that account until three years ago, and I finally got that laser surgery because I knew that was what Mac wanted me to do with that money.”
“Not that I’m not incredibly glad you told me,” he said lightly. “Or that you trust me enough to share all of this, but why now?”
I swallowed hard, “I was trying to say something downstairs, before you went to your office, but I don’t think you were listening. I wanted to explain. I did a lot of things I’m not proud of—”
“For fuck’s sake, Taylor, you were a damn kid who never had a single moment of security in her life. Do you really think I give a damn if you stole stuff so you could eat?” he asked in a low, rumbling baritone. “Yeah, I care because you didn’t have a single place or person to turn to back then who gave a flying fuck about you until Mac came into your life, but all you were doing was trying to survive.”
I smiled because Hudson sounded so disgruntled. I should have realized that he’d understand. “But here’s the thing,” I said nervously. “I was pretty content spending my time hanging out with Mac, or friends. I had a high school boyfriend that I had a physical relationship with when I turned eighteen, but we were both virgins, and pretty clueless, and we broke it off after a month or two. I was really busy taking care of Mac while he was sick, and before he passed away. At Stanford, I told you there really wasn’t anybody, either. And then, there was the kidnapping incident and the rebel leader. Dammit! I’m trying to tell you I have no idea how to seduce someone. That I’ve never had hot, sweaty, wild sex. I’ve never felt the way I do when I look at you,” I finished in a rush.
“Taylor,” he said, and then he stopped like he didn’t know what the hell else to say.
I went on, “Hudson, what I meant downstairs earlier is that I want you, too, and I feel the same things you do, but I wouldn’t have any idea where to start or what to do if I could get you naked.”
Hudson
For the very first time in my life, I was pretty much speechless.
It took a few minutes for the truth to sink into my brain.
Taylor hadn’t been trying to say she wasn’t sure if she wanted me.
She’d been trying to convey the fact that she was…inexperienced.
Her first sexual experience had been with a guy who had no clue how to work her body into a frenzy.
Her only other sexual contact had been with an animal who had repeatedly taken her body in hatred against her will.
“Um…maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,” Taylor said, sounding uncomfortable as she moved to get to her feet.
I snagged her waist and pulled her back to my side.
“Oh no, you don’t,” I growled. “I’m not letting you drop that bomb on me, and then take off like you never said it.”
Since just thinking about her being trapped and helpless made my gut burn, I took one of her legs and pulled it over my lap until she was straddling me.
Much better. Now, I could see her face.
Jesus Christ! She was beautiful. Her hair was loose, all those glorious flame-colored curls were falling down around her shoulders, but I gritted my teeth and tried not to let that get me distracted. “So what you were really trying to say is that even though you’re not a virgin, you’re sexually inexperienced?” I questioned.
I watched as she swallowed hard, and then nodded before she murmured, “You could probably make that totally ignorant. The will is there, and every time I look at you, I want to crawl up this hot body of yours and beg you to fuck me, but after that, I’m clueless. I