Billionaire Protector - Alexa Hart Page 0,65

enraged to feel that fear that I’d tried so hard to leave behind fill my body.

Penn wouldn’t hurt a fly. He was the type of person you could see purposely shooing a fly out of a window instead of squishing it, just because it seemed nicer, and killing any living thing seemed pointless.

I’d fucked up. Again. And if I didn’t stop – if I didn’t do exactly what Preston had said I would need to and come clean – I was going to lose Penn one way or the other.

There was only so much he’d be able to take, and only so many times that he’d be able to take it.

I love Penn. How that was possible in such a short period of time, I don’t know. But I do love him. The slip had been legitimate.

And hadn’t he slipped too? Or had it even been an accident at all? He’d outright said, “I love you.”

If we both loved each other, if I knew he only wanted to help – to protect me, why was I letting this happen? Why was I pushing him away so hard?

My past might send him running, but it might not. There was no way to know for certain until I told him. Everything.

And then Penn could decide for himself.

I stared at Murphy, his little face positively angelic in the morning light. Murphy deserved the world. Murphy was every bit as good as the Hardicks and anybody else.

Murphy was faultless in all of the madness that had surrounded his three years of life. Even if it was only for his sake, I had to try.

And it wasn’t only for his sake.

I showered, dressed, and drank a giant cup of black coffee. Soon, Murphy and I would go downstairs and open up shop.

Then I would call Penn.

After that, I truly don’t know what will happen.

“Really, Anne. It’s like you purposely want to break your own heart. You care about the boy. Let him in! You’re being silly!” Kate cried.

I’d given her a brief run-down of the previous day’s events (leaving out a few personal moments, of course), and she was positively horrified by how the night had ended.

It was sweet, in that I knew she wanted me to be happy and find love.

But it was obnoxious, considering she’d never done the same herself and didn’t have half the reasons to be so hesitant.

“Why don’t you date him, Kate? You’ve been heavily on his side since day one.”

That might have been the first time I snapped at Kate – ever.

Her brown eyes went wide. “Anne. You know I just want the best for you. You care about him. He’s a good guy. He cares about you. Of course I’m going to root for that!”

Immediately I felt awful.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just... frustrated.” I put a hand to my forehead, and Kate walked behind the counter to hug me solidly.

“Everything is going to be okay. You’re just going to have to decide if Penn is worth the trouble of letting your walls down. And I think you’ve already decided that he is.” She squeezed me, then turned to swoop Murphy up from his play spot.

“How about you make that phone call sooner rather than later?” She winked at me and carried Murphy with her into the backroom.

I stared at the phone on the counter.

I wasn’t sure I could do this. But I was going to do it anyway.

Penn answered on the first ring.

“Anne. Anne, I’m so sorry.”

“No,” I stopped him. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Penn. I did, and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons,” Penn returned, his voice thick with sympathy. He is truly the kindest soul I’ve ever met.

“I do. But... I think it’s time I talked to you about that. About those reasons. Those things. Why I am the way that I am.” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth.

I had sworn to myself... no guys. No guys. No guys. Safety and Murphy and nothing else.

But I hadn’t foreseen someone like Penn Hardick walking into my life.

And I knew for certain that I didn’t want to see him walk back out.

“Okay. So let’s talk.” Penn sounded nervous, but ready.

“Not on the phone. It’s... too much for the phone.” I couldn’t imagine getting out all of this history of information on a phone call.

“Okay, so come out here,” he suggested, a hint of pleading in his voice.

I shook my head. “No. You might not even want me there after