A Billionaire Boyfriend For Christmas - Holly Rayner Page 0,44
awake. I remembered Becca.”
That moment would forever be vivid in his memory. The house was eerily quiet. He’d started from bed and rushed down the hallway to her room, but it had been empty. Calling her name, he’d run through the apartment. There’d been no signs of his sister, so he’d rushed to the landing. That’s where he found her.
“She’d had one of the seizures. Most of the apartment was soft, proofed so that she wouldn’t get hurt when they happened. But she’d left the apartment and fallen down the stairs.”
Adison gasped. “Oh, Ken.”
His nails bit into his palms. “She’d been gone for a little while. Not long. Maybe only a few minutes.”
He ran a hand down his face, afraid to look at Adison. “My parents acted like I wasn’t to be blamed, but I was. They knew it, too. They never looked at me again the same. I moved out a few months after that, and it was never right between us. I saw them very little, and then they passed about six months apart a few years back.”
“It was an accident,” Adison said gently.
It took a lot of strength to turn his face to hers. “An accident that was preventable.”
“Maybe so, but you’re human. And do you really think Becca, wherever she is now, blames you for it?”
That struck him dumb. He wasn’t sure how to respond.
Adison went on. “Considering how tenderhearted you said she was, I seriously doubt it. She would forgive you, wouldn’t she?”
He swallowed. “When you put it that way, yes. I’m sure she would.”
“Then how come you can’t forgive yourself?”
He smiled sadly. The way Adison talked about it, she made the whole matter sound simple. It was anything but that, though he appreciated her trying.
And she wasn’t turning away from him in disgust. In fact, she scooted a little closer and rested her hand on his arm.
“Has your opinion of me changed?” he asked.
Her gaze flicked between his eyes. “Are you asking me if I think less of you now?”
“I suppose I am.”
She shook her head slowly. “No, I don’t think less of you. I’m glad you told me that. It helps me understand you better. You’re a good guy, Ken. You don’t seem to think so, but I know you are.”
He couldn’t fight a frown. “I’m nothing compared to you.”
“Pfft.” Adison rolled her eyes. “Stop.”
“No. I’m serious.” He remained fixed on her face, and though she started to laugh, all humor quickly fell away.
“Sometimes I think you don’t like me,” she whispered.
His heart lurched. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. I just…I need to be careful with people.”
“Why?” she asked with zero hesitation.
“Because I hurt them.”
“You mean Becca.”
“Yes.”
Adison’s lips pursed. “And you’ve kept yourself at a distance since then because you think you’ll make the same mistake with others. That you’ll let your guard down, get too comfortable, and then something bad will happen.”
He sucked in a breath. “You’re trying to get a specific read on me, huh?”
“Well, it’s pretty textbook,” she said dryly.
To his great surprise, he laughed.
This time of the year was the worst for him, a reminder that while everyone else was enjoying the holidays with their family, he was doing anything but—probably working at his empty office or doing whatever he could to forget. By now, he expected for December to be a whole month where he toed around the edges of a pit of depression.
In December, there was no laughter. There was no joy. Or so it had been before Adison.
“See?” She grinned. “If you’re laughing, things aren’t so bad.”
“I suppose they aren’t.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment—longer than he had ever allowed himself to look at her for.
“I’m sorry that I ever gave you the impression I don’t like you,” he said.
“Thank you.” She broke eye contact. “It’s been a little hard for me, because, well, pretending to have a relationship, it stirs up all these feelings.”
She turned bright red.
“And then there was the kiss,” he said.
Her eyes slowly moved back to his. “Yeah. That. What was that about?”
“I had a weak moment. I couldn’t keep my lips off you any longer.”
She caught her breath. “Oh?”
“Yes.”
Adison licked her perfect lips. “I wish you didn’t see it as a weak moment. I wish…I wish you saw it as something normal. I wish you would do it more often.”
His chest warmed. “You’re not worried that, if we were to date for real, I’d screw it all up?”
“You’re worried about that,” she reminded him. “I’m