“It’s time,” I agree, somehow managing to speak past the ball that’s lodged itself into my throat. “It’s definitely time.”
And now, I will not waste any more of my fucking time on him.
I grab my shit from the floorboard, open my door, and jump out onto the street. My parents are getting their bags from the back, and they can get mine too. I’m not staying here for another fucking second.
I weave my way through the parked cars next to us and onto the sidewalk.
I’ve known better all along. Caplin Hawkins is nothing but trouble, and he will never change.
Shame on me for letting myself think he would.
Cap
I watch as Ruby climbs out of the car, slams the door behind herself, and walks away without looking back.
She didn’t even pause, didn’t even argue—not for the slightest second.
My chest feels tight as she disappears between the cars and onto the sidewalk, and with her parents still grabbing bags from the back of the car, I can’t stop myself from jumping out and following her.
She’s just opening the door to her building when I grab her by the elbow.
She whips around so fast, her hair brushes across my face. My heart stops as I get a whiff of the familiar, citrusy smell.
“What?” she yells, her eyes bloodshot and fiery.
“I just… I don’t know, Ruby. I don’t want to… I didn’t want to…” I stumble to find something—anything—to say. I imagine I should have had a plan, being that I was the one to follow her, but I didn’t—I don’t. All I knew is that I had to talk to her one more time. “I don’t like leaving it like this.”
She scoffs, a completely appalling, derisive sound, and my throat closes in around itself. “You don’t like leaving it like this? Give me a break, Cap. You’re the one doing it. You’re the one. And you know it.”
“Ruby—”
“We slept together last night!” she yells, and all activity behind me—what I imagine is her parents pulling their suitcases onto the sidewalk—stops. “And today, you’re done.” She shakes her head, and the look on her face…
I’ve never felt so much pain looking at something in my entire thirty-one years of life.
“I knew that’s how it would be. I knew it. I’ve known it since the beginning, and like an idiot, somehow last night, I let you make me forget.” She pauses to take a breath, and it’s just ragged enough that I lose mine. “I saw the book in your bag, Cap. It’s amazing how everything suddenly makes sense. The makeovers and the apologies and the conversations we had. I should’ve fucking known that Caplin Hawkins doesn’t do anything without some kind of ulterior motive involving sex.”
Jesus Christ. I’ve never felt more like a dirtbag than I do right now.
And, for the first time ever, I can’t say anything. Words are physically, emotionally, psychologically impossible. I never thought I’d see a day or situation where I felt that way. I’m the man who’s always got a comment. Always got an answer. But today, I’m the man who’s made positively sure he’s got nothing.
“So, I guess I’m the fool,” she continues, and the way her voice shakes makes my heart turn in on itself. “But I’m not going to be a fool anymore, Cap. I’m done. You’re not ready to be a grown-up, and hey…” She shrugs, and her emotion is so hideously opposite of the gesture, it’s ridiculous. “I guess that’s fine. You don’t have to be a grown-up if you don’t want to be…but I need one.”
She turns around and grabs the handle behind her, and it’s all I can do to stay standing. My heart feels like it’ll explode any second, and my teeth ache from grinding them.
When she turns back one last time, I clench my fists against the blow I know has to be coming. “You want freedom, you’ve got it. I can promise you, you’ll never hear from me again.”
As the door closes behind her, I feel nauseated. My skin is clammy, my head is throbbing, and any second now, I expect my breakfast is going to make a second showing.
Her parents scoot by me quickly, her dad’s shoulder ramming me in the back, which is certainly deserved, and before I know it, I’m standing there alone.
A single guy with no one to answer to. Just like I wanted.
The problem is…in the wake of Ruby walking out of my life for good, my breathing ragged and